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On Sunday morning Mum was rushed to Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth once again. Dad had phoned an ambulance after Mother became confused, unable to talk properly and extremely unwell. The paramedics arrived quickly where they assessed the situation. They immediately informed my Father that Mum would have to go into Accident and Emergency straight away; Of course she objected, as she has done on every other occasion, refusing to leave the house. Concerned, my Father was taken to one side and advised she would be dead by the morning unless she was admitted now. After much consternation, Mum agreed and was taken straight to QA, where she remains today.

My Aunt Trisha had informed me of the situation on Sunday, she is a nurse at the Hospital and was already aware of my Mothers state of health. She told me to expect a call from Dad on Monday, after Mum's circumstances became clearer. Naturally worried, I went to bed feeling apprehensive about the future. We had been here before, but this time things felt different. The seriousness of the situation would become evident, but for now it was time to sleep  and try to prepare for what was coming!

I awoke at 5am on Monday, sat bolt upright in bed; it had been a difficult night with very little sleep, but plenty of dreaming and thinking about the past and events that shaped my life. For the next few hours I laid quietly, remembering childhood events and fun times with family. Dad eventually phoned and informed me of Mum's condition. His voice was rather shaky and his words inaudible at times, but he did manage to tell me that the Hospital wanted to speak to us as a family, as soon as possible, believing at the time Mum had had a stroke, on top of everything else. I cancelled my day of volunteering with Cancer Research and made my way to the 'Acute Medical Unit' at the Hospital.

I arrived before Dad, walking into the ward, looking around briefly to see where Mum was situated. Unable to recognise anyone, I spoke to a nurse who directed me to her bed. I had seen this lady when I first turned up, but hadn't identified her; Mum was in a terrible state and I was shocked at her condition. On arrival, a lady Doctor came over and told me that Mum hadn't suffered a stroke. From me their was a  sigh of relief, followed by a stark reality check, as she continued to relay her concerns for my Mothers health. She would talk to Dad and I when he was also here, rather than saying anything now; In the meantime I sat patiently holding Mum's hand.

Shortly afterwards Dad entered the ward and pulled back the curtain around Mum's bed. Looking frail and tired, understandable after such a traumatic ordeal, he embraced his wife of 51 years. He was followed closely behind by my Aunt and finally the lady Doctor and a  colleague who went straight over to Mum's side, reviewing her medical records and discussing her condition briefly with each another. Quickly we were directed to a private room, where we were given a detailed prognosis and warned of what to expect in the coming hours.

Mum was trying to fight off a severe infection, but was so weak it seemed likely she wouldn't recover and over the next forty eight hours we should prepare ourselves for the worst. The Consultant who spoke to us said she was unlikely to survive and we were asked whether we wanted Mum to be resuscitated in the event of her untimely death. After briefly looking at one another, horrified at what we were hearing, we agreed it wouldn't be right to put Mum through anymore pain. A combination of low sodium levels, an inability to continue battling and a negative reaction to the antibiotics that were being administered, were all contributory factors in Mothers rapid decline; it was time to consider the future and what would happen after Mum's passing.

All of us were shocked and upset at what we had heard; emotions were running high as we all congregated at Mum's bedside. Aunt Trisha had contacted my Brother and while we waited for him to arrive we decided to go to the Hospital canteen on B level to talk about what was going on. Dad discussed Mum's funeral wishes, reminisced about past events and shed a few tears. Plans were made about what we should all do in the immediate aftermath and I managed to phone relatives who needed to know the gravity of Mum's condition. We all did what we could while we waited for the inevitable.

My Brother arrived an hour and a half later, looking as shell shocked as us all. This was the first time I had seen my younger sibling in ten years, so after an initial period of awkwardness, we hugged and manged to put our differences aside for the shake of our parents. Sitting at Mum's bedside we talked about the 'old days,' while she slowly meandered in and out of consciousness. My Aunt Helen who I had contacted earlier phoned me back and informed me she would fly to the UK that evening from her home in the Channel Islands, staying with her other sisters, until they could come in to make their final farewells in the morning. A couple of hours later my Uncle Paul arrived, sitting talking with Mum as best he could, not holding out much hope for the future, like us all. I left at 7pm with my Aunt, believing Mum wouldn't survive the night, this was the final farewell, the moment all families dread!

The following day, Mum was sat up in bed talking with family and Hospital staff alike, miraculously she had survived and was almost chirpy in her behaviour. Dad phoned and was positive, believing Mum could actually survive this, and as I left for work in the evening, I was looking forward to seeing her the next day. Everyone at work were fantastic offering support and help if needed; I began to feel that the tide was turning and all my prayers had been answered.

On Monday Mum had been given 48 hours to live and expectations were low. When I saw her yesterday, whilst not as good as the day before, she was communicating well and as feisty as ever; our assumptions had changed and a belief in Mothers fighting spirit was being realised. In truth Mum has been through a lot and we are still not completely sure of her current state. The latest diagnosis includes e coli on top of everything else; yet another ailment to add to a growing list. Mother has survived before and there is no reason to expect she wont now. As long as her family are here to support her and of course more importantly my father at this difficult time, I am hopeful she can overcome her current state of health. She nearly died on Monday and is still fighting on Thursday, the longer and harder she battles the more sanguine we all are. Confidence and optimism has got us through some terrible days before, it seems likely they can again!
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