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25 Years Together - An Anniversary Like No Other!
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2020 has been a year we all want to forget; If I could wish this time away, I would. Today Darrell and I are celebrating 25 years together, a milestone, neither of us thought would happen. When I left the UK in 1995 with Darrell, wearing nothing but the clothes on my back, pulling a broken suitcase over Westminster bridge, towards our new life together, never would I have imagined where we would be today. Falling in love was easy, staying together against all the odds was hard, as we fought a system, geared against us, to remain together through thick and thin. Only a pandemic has forced us to live apart, during the most important milestone in our life.
Our relationship began at a time of change for same-sex couples. Civil Partnerships and Marriage were not yet legal and the Government of the day refused to admit our relationship even existed. There were no laws in place to protect us and recognise our commitment to one another. I was encouraged to leave Britain and restart my life elsewhere, somewhere more accepting of our de facto partnership; we were unable to remain together in the UK and our journey together was about to get rocky. This was the beginning of many battles, before both of us were finally recognised in the eyes of the law and allowed to stay together in Britain, six years later.
Darrell and I have campaigned and strived for equality all our lives. Our same-sex status was a stumbling block to our happiness, because we were treated as second class citizens; our sexuality was labelled as 'against the grain' and considered 'abnormal' to those in charge. We are still living under the auspices of the Immigration and Nationality Directorate; even today, both of us continue to live in a state of flux. Our life together is documented and recorded, and we have to prove every move we make, always remembering that we may be called to the Home Office at any stage, in order to clarify our adherence to each other. Not only do we have an obligation to inform the Immigration Department of our movements, but in the event of Darrell breaking the terms of his 'Indefinite Leave To Remain' visa, he would be ordered to leave the UK, or left unable to return - a situation we are facing today!
Darrell and I are in a precarious situation, probably facing the most difficult circumstances we have ever endured before. We have come up against many obstacles over the years and overcome each and every one of them, but this situation is immeasurably different. Darrell's Mother of course remains terminally ill in Australia and as her only child, Darrell is her chief carer, looking after her every day. We both agreed that he should spend these final months with her in Perth, while I returned to the UK to be with my family at an equally testing time.
Neither of us could have foreseen the pandemic that is currently raging across the World and our plans have been shattered. In order to meet the terms of his visa, Darrell can not remain outside the UK for too long and until recently, he was due to return to Portsmouth this month. With international boarders shut and flights banned across Australasia, this is no longer possible, and we are unable to see each other as we would have liked. More importantly we are hoping that Darrell's ability to travel is granted soon, before his right to return is cancelled under the terms of his visa.
I have managed to contact my local Member of Parliament Stephen Morgan, who has been proactive in his support for our case. He has written to the Home Office on our behalf in order to clarify our situation. Both of us are hoping the Government will waver the strict conditions of the visa at this time and should Darrell have to remain in Australia over a longer period, he will be allowed to return here unhindered, when circumstances allow, and we can carry on life much as before. I am of course a realist and understand just how right wing this Government is. It is unlikely they will look favourably at our case, but at least I have tried my best to highlight our difficulties.
Who would have thought we would be where we are today as a couple, living through a pandemic, separated by illness, thousands of miles away on the other side of the World. We are where we are and can't change what is happening, events are completely out of our control. I have never been any good at thinking positively, probably because my life has always been such a roller-coaster ride. However this is a time to concentrate on the here and now, live our lives one day at a time and continue saving hard for the post pandemic era. No matter how bad things are, Darrell and I, like all of you have a future ahead of us, and we will live our life very much as we have always done, for the next 25 years - unconventional, focused on our goals and always dreaming of something better. This year has tested us to our limits, but 2021 will extinguish the year that never was and hopefully open doors to new opportunities and a destiny that is ours for the taking.
Our relationship began at a time of change for same-sex couples. Civil Partnerships and Marriage were not yet legal and the Government of the day refused to admit our relationship even existed. There were no laws in place to protect us and recognise our commitment to one another. I was encouraged to leave Britain and restart my life elsewhere, somewhere more accepting of our de facto partnership; we were unable to remain together in the UK and our journey together was about to get rocky. This was the beginning of many battles, before both of us were finally recognised in the eyes of the law and allowed to stay together in Britain, six years later.
Darrell and I have campaigned and strived for equality all our lives. Our same-sex status was a stumbling block to our happiness, because we were treated as second class citizens; our sexuality was labelled as 'against the grain' and considered 'abnormal' to those in charge. We are still living under the auspices of the Immigration and Nationality Directorate; even today, both of us continue to live in a state of flux. Our life together is documented and recorded, and we have to prove every move we make, always remembering that we may be called to the Home Office at any stage, in order to clarify our adherence to each other. Not only do we have an obligation to inform the Immigration Department of our movements, but in the event of Darrell breaking the terms of his 'Indefinite Leave To Remain' visa, he would be ordered to leave the UK, or left unable to return - a situation we are facing today!
Darrell and I are in a precarious situation, probably facing the most difficult circumstances we have ever endured before. We have come up against many obstacles over the years and overcome each and every one of them, but this situation is immeasurably different. Darrell's Mother of course remains terminally ill in Australia and as her only child, Darrell is her chief carer, looking after her every day. We both agreed that he should spend these final months with her in Perth, while I returned to the UK to be with my family at an equally testing time.
Neither of us could have foreseen the pandemic that is currently raging across the World and our plans have been shattered. In order to meet the terms of his visa, Darrell can not remain outside the UK for too long and until recently, he was due to return to Portsmouth this month. With international boarders shut and flights banned across Australasia, this is no longer possible, and we are unable to see each other as we would have liked. More importantly we are hoping that Darrell's ability to travel is granted soon, before his right to return is cancelled under the terms of his visa.
I have managed to contact my local Member of Parliament Stephen Morgan, who has been proactive in his support for our case. He has written to the Home Office on our behalf in order to clarify our situation. Both of us are hoping the Government will waver the strict conditions of the visa at this time and should Darrell have to remain in Australia over a longer period, he will be allowed to return here unhindered, when circumstances allow, and we can carry on life much as before. I am of course a realist and understand just how right wing this Government is. It is unlikely they will look favourably at our case, but at least I have tried my best to highlight our difficulties.
Who would have thought we would be where we are today as a couple, living through a pandemic, separated by illness, thousands of miles away on the other side of the World. We are where we are and can't change what is happening, events are completely out of our control. I have never been any good at thinking positively, probably because my life has always been such a roller-coaster ride. However this is a time to concentrate on the here and now, live our lives one day at a time and continue saving hard for the post pandemic era. No matter how bad things are, Darrell and I, like all of you have a future ahead of us, and we will live our life very much as we have always done, for the next 25 years - unconventional, focused on our goals and always dreaming of something better. This year has tested us to our limits, but 2021 will extinguish the year that never was and hopefully open doors to new opportunities and a destiny that is ours for the taking.
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