Thoughts for New Years Eve!

It’s that time of year again; New Years Eve 2016, heading into 2017. I have already done my New Year review, so don’t want to talk about the year ahead, what I want to do is talk about New Years Even itself. I have never really been a fan of this time of year. This is the time bars make money, by charging extortionate amounts to enter their establishments, buying even more alcohol than usual; another date in the calendar, commercialised!

For as long as I remember I have never really celebrated New Years Eve. Don’t get me wrong, I have gone through the motions, occasionally going out to a pub or club and suffering with a massive hangover the next day. We used to attend a fancy dress party at a friends house, every year, for about four years, which I did enjoy. I love dressing up as a rule anyway, and would much rather spend the time attending a small intimate party, with close friends, than stood up in a bar, crushed against a wall, because there is no seating.

The most memorable New Years Eve for me, was spent with friends in Southampton, two years ago. It was actually the last great time I had during the whole festive season. We never went out, we spent time together at my home in the City. Being able to choose, who you spend time with, is a must for me. I don’t want to be associated with people I don’t get on with. Southampton is a small place, relatively, and it goes without saying, that the gay scene, of which I was a part, was even smaller. You were likely to bump into people you didn’t get on with, on a regular basis. For me, celebrating at home, with those you appreciate and love was always preferable. I have never understood the two faced World, where you have to pretend to enjoy someone’s company, when you clearly don’t. In truth, if I don’t want to be around a person, I make it quite clear.

Tonight, I really am not sure what I will be doing. In reality, I will probably stay in, watch a bit of television and then go to bed. With Darrell not here at the moment, I am not really in the mood for celebrating anything, that will come, when he returns home. Jamie is working tonight, so I am quite content to stay at home and let others celebrate.

Now here’s the thing; what are people celebrating on New Years Eve? I am not even sure they know themselves. For me, the thought of celebrating, the possibility of another terrible year to come, is not top of my list of priorities. I do sometimes think, people are deluded at this time of year. Spending too much money they can not afford, pretending that everything in their life is wonderful and not really wanting to change any aspect of it, expecting everything, to just fall in their lap. I’m sounding a bit bitter to be honest with you, aren’t I? I guess it could be partly bitterness, but it is also a reality check. In truth, this year, I have nothing to celebrate. I have been through tough times and just want 2016, to pass by quickly, with no fuss. Of course I wish my family and friends a Happy New Year, but I don’t need to be drunk to do that. There is a very big drinking culture here, with many people drinking every day. I don’t have a problem with that, but I know people who do have a problem with alcohol and it is affecting their life, in a big way. For me, I drink rarely, I can’t actually afford to.

As we slowly drift into 2017, I have no desire to repeat the mistakes of the past. I will be running a new bar in 2017 and want it to be a success. I do not intend to drink my days away or ruin what is left of my life. 2017 for me, is an opportunity to start a journey that will finally allow, both myself and my partner to enjoy the success, I feel we deserve. Maybe next year, I will see in 2018, with a real sense of achievement!

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