Thoughts!

A blog about how I'm feeling today, nothing specific, just a few thoughts on various different topics, starting of course with Oxfam. I am lucky enough to have been given a lot of support and encouragement this weekend, especially from those who live and work in Gran Alacant. It has been wonderful to speak to customers at LoungeD, who have made a point of coming in and wishing me good luck, offering their own thoughts and feelings on the difficulties Oxfam are currently experiencing; Expats are a very upfront lot and will always tell you how it is. Everyone I have spoken to, has given me the inspiration and motivation to continue pushing forwards, with my desire to make others aware of Oxfam's failings. Ex colleagues have also been in contact, all shocked at what they were hearing; many apologising for not believing my complaints against Oxfam at the time. This is not a moment for recriminations, this should be a period when all of us should stand together and fight Oxfam's cover ups and misinformation. It is important, that at the end of this soul searching process, everything is done to protect the victims and everyone else who continues to work and volunteer with this charity. I will certainly continue to work for justice, as I know many others will too!

I have also heard from a lot of friends back home in the UK in recent days, many I haven't seen  in over three years. A lot  have been reading my blog, getting to know me once again. This got me thinking; actually I became a bit nostalgic, so did a bit of facebook stalking, looking though old posts from ten years ago; adding friends and family I haven't spoken to in a while or lost contact with over the years. This is something I need to do as an Expat living on the other side of Europe. Many people complain tirelessly about the invasive nature of facebook, but I can't speak highly enough of it. It allows me to stay in contact with many people I wouldn't ordinarily see; importantly it also permits me to showcase my blogging and writing, especially vital when you rely on it for part of your income. My advice to anyone who uses social media is: Be careful, don't give out personal details and don't add people you don't know. Finally be very careful what you say, especially if your employer is on your friends list.

Continuing with the facebook theme; whilst scrolling through my wall, viewing what I can only describe as 'testing times' I was unlucky enough to come across some truly cringe worthy status updates. Facebook of course documents a persons thoughts and feelings in all its gory detail. Much of what I was browsing was not what I would broadcast to the World today. When one suffers with bipolar, one does have good and bad periods. This can be clearly seen in social networking blunders. The things I write now are extremely tame in comparison and thank God for that. I have clearly moved on  a lot from those dark days a few years ago. I think I may also owe a lot of people an apology for the distress I may have caused to them in the past, something I will be doing over the next few days. Reflecting on ones past mistakes is a good thing, learning from them is important.

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It was an early morning walk for me today, trying to lose a few pounds. I do find walking the best time to think. Sometimes I get writers block and literally have no idea what to write, rather like this morning actually, so a brisk walk gave me the subject matter for today's blog. I am beginning to feel a lot better about myself, finding it easier to walk each day, the more I do it; my belt feels a little less tight also, which is a good thing. My eating habits have also improved dramatically. Everything we eat is cooked from scratch; I eat very little processed food, including cheese and chocolate, two things I have cut completely out of my diet. Also, even though I am still smoking, I have cut down dramatically, smoking no more that a packet of twenty a week. That is great for me, especially when one considers I used to smoke eighty cigarettes a day. Smoking has always been the bane of my life, especially with my addictive personality.

I could feel the sun on my face this Monday; the cold evenings are nearly at an end. I really don't enjoy this time of year in Spain, especially without the little luxuries, we are used to in Britain; central heating and carpets, to name but two. The winter doesn't really last that long. In December we were still enjoying temperatures of 25 degrees, so in reality it just consists of two months, which isn't too bad; I think they just feel far worse here. You are experiencing 8 or ten degrees during the night, which can be a massive drop from the temperatures during the day. That's a second year under my belt; it's uphill all the way now.

As winter comes to an end, we have already had a number of friends ask if they can come over and stay, for a few weeks during the summer season. In the UK, we used to have waifs and strays in and out of our house everyday, not always when I wanted, consequently, I wasn't necessarily happy to have people invading my space. I am quite a private person as a rule and do value my own time; very difficult to achieve, living in Southampton. Here however I am more than happy to have guests coming and going; it keeps a link to the past, especially warranted when settling into a new way of life. Moving to Australia was an option at one stage, before we decided to emigrate to Spain. Here, we wouldn't have seen any close friends, so I am grateful we can at least receive visitors today. Who knows, if we move to Australia in the future, things may well be very different. If you want to come and visit this year, please let me know as soon as you can!

So there we go, a few random thoughts for today; things on my mind, as I went for my morning walk around Gran Alacant. Have a wonderful day y'all!

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