The Fork - Part II

The Fork - Future
Direction?​

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There are times in ones life, when one feels desultory and directionless. This morning I was watching ‘New Life Down under’, the BBC programme, that shows how different ones life could be, relocating to Australia or New Zealand. Funny enough they were in Darrell’s home city, Perth. Now I have lived there a few times before, and am always interested to see just how much the place has changed over the years. In 1995 and 1998, I felt unable to live in Australia; maybe I was just too young, or maybe, there were other deep rooted issues, that I had, at the time, that prevented me from staying!

The Television programme was an eye opener for me today. I was looking at a place, I didn’t know any more. Property prices had gone through the roof; rather like they have in the UK. The cost of living was also completely out of the reach of people like me. I am of course always interested to see if I could live back in Perth, but the revelations, made clear on this show, put the breaks on that idea; I was going to say dream, but in truth, living in Australia has never been a dream, it has always been something I would have done, if necessary, in order to move forward. Well and truly out of my reach and in a way, I was glad of that, because, when one considers the options available, whilst determining future direction, the more paths there are, the harder it is to choose.

I have no regrets about trying to live in Australia, it is a beautiful country and there are many opportunities out there, for people with the skills to negotiate their way through life. Australia is beginning to suffer, at the hands of, the World economic crisis, and there are many difficulties associated with trying to build a new life there. Australia does not recognize mine and Darrell’s marriage, the main reason I am still living in Spain. I would have no legal status down under and that is not acceptable to me, after being in a relationship for twenty one years. The difficulties involved in trying to establish ones self in a Country that does not accept ones sexuality are a complete no go, a non starter! I am not saying all Australians are homophobic, but from the ones I know of, I believe a good proportion are. That is a terrible indictment on this fine country!

The United Kingdom, has always been my home, so leaving it and coming here was a huge wrench. I have lived in Spain now for a little under a year, but could Britain still be the future for myself and Darrell? Well the circumstances of our arrival in Gran Alacant are well known, so for the foreseeable future we are unable to return to the UK. There will be a time, when we have to, but that is a long way off at the moment. There is much I love about Britain, I miss the good wage packet each month, the convenience of city life, going to the theatre, eating in good restaurants and of course the biggie, the friends I left behind.

If I look back at the time in Britain, did I ever really have a sense of direction? Well yes I did; for the ten years prior to moving to Spain, I had a good job, working with a charity I loved and people I adored. I had many friends in my personal and professional life and felt that I could finally achieve all the things I wanted to, moving up the corporate ladder as it were and achieve good things. Of course, in life, that is what we all desire; given the right opportunities and working environment, all my ambitions were perfectly achievable. I obviously didn’t bargain on having a Sociopath for a Manager, who not only gave me a false sense of hope, but also, endangered my physical and mental wellbeing. I thought I had a sense of direction at that time, but maybe, I didn’t, maybe it was all smoke and mirrors, a mirage. The false sense of security, I thought I had was nothing more than what others wanted me to believe.

To be honest, I haven’t given up on Britain; maybe one day in the future I will end up back there. I have spoken about the future many times before, not least in this blog, and it does change all the time, depending on my current thought process. The one thing that tends to stay the same, is the possibility of returning home at some stage, mainly through practicality and necessity, not because of desire!

So it does look like, for the time being at least, myself and Darrell will be staying on in Spain, for a good few years minimum. It was always our dream to live in Europe at some stage, loving the many wonderful occasions , we spent in countries, from France to Italy and Hrvatska. Continental Europe has always been a draw for us and unlike the UK and Australia, there are opportunities here, that just do not exist in either of the other two countries.

Lets look at what I have managed to achieve in the first year, briefly, as I have covered this before. I managed a charity shop, something I did in Britain, worked in a professional kitchen as a chef, write for a magazine, teach in a school and in March will open a new bar. Personally I don’t think that is bad going, for my first year living here. I have achieved far more in Spain, than I ever did in the UK or Australia, For these reasons alone, I have to give this place a chance. I want to be a success in life; at the moment I can gain at least some of what I desire, living and working here. Spain has been good to me, it’s time to give something back!

I have no doubt that I will reach many others forks in the road and will have many more decisions to make in the future, but for now, my life, it’s direction and future are firmly grounded in Gran Alacant. For the first time, in many years I have focus, able to take command of my own destiny and can finally see success, just around the corner!

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