Reflections, Three Years On!

I haven't composed a written blog in a while, so I've decided to put pen to paper, as it were, and write a few words today. Enjoying a long weekend, does afford me the opportunity to sit and think about what to say. I suppose you could call today's blog, 'non-specific', because today I am writing down, what ever comes to mind — off the cuff comments about my life in Australia, and just how I'm feeling this weekend.

Darrell and I have been in Australia for a little over three years now and have achieved a lot during our time in Perth. More than anything, we are lucky enough to have been able to buy a house, at a time when Australia is suffering from a housing crisis, worse than anything in The UK. Recently, I was told in no uncertain terms, that in all probability, I wouldn't be able to buy a house in Perth today, and it's easy to see why.

Prices are out of control in this isolated part of the world. Since COVID-19, the lack of housing has become a crisis. Perth itself has the most expensive rental market in the whole country, and prices are rising faster than inflation. A house like ours would let easily for $600 a week, and I just can't imagine how anyone can afford to rent a property here, let alone buy one.

Since buying our current home, the value has more than doubled and continues to rise daily. I remember when we first moved here, applying for flats to rent, joining long queues of people waiting to view this property or that, and thinking to myself, what a mistake we had made moving to Australia. Thankfully, we didn't have to rent, and after speaking to our amazing Bank Manager, we were more than able to afford to buy a three-bedroom villa, near to Darrell's Mum.

Of course, I have filled our house with lots of stuff, as you would expect from a maximalist like me, and it feels very much like a home now. We haven't done much to this place since moving in, preferring instead to spend our money on travelling. Look, I would love to have a perfectly polished home, but at my age, I believe it is more important to enjoy life, and use our house in Western Australia as a base. The villa is large by British standards, functional, and offers us all the space we need. Darrell has one side of the house and I have the other, which works out fantastically well for us.

Despite being settled and secure, we continue to regard travel as our number one priority. Living in Australia can of course make this rather challenging, especially when you live in Perth. However, we are spending our time travelling through Asia, which just happens to be our favourite part of the World. To date we have seen most countries in the region, and will be exploring Japan early next year. Eventually we would like to travel further afield, but as a nervous flyer, I would rather stay within a 5 or six hour flight limit. Japan is certainly a longer journey than this, but it is a destination on both our bucket lists, that we need to see before we get too old.

In 2027, I plan to fly back to the UK to see my Father and possibly attend my 40th school reunion. This will give me an opportunity to catch up with friends and family also, and hopefully stop off in Europe along the way. It is true to say I miss my country of birth, but I really miss Europe even more. Having lived in Spain for several years, I understand the European way of life and crave the lifestyle it offers.

Australia is so far from the rest of the World, that at times it feels like a whole different planet. Despite our two countries English roots, we are poles apart in every other respect. Australians are very insular people and not as welcoming as the British, or indeed the Expat community in Spain. Darrell and I do feel extremely lonely at times and look back to our days living in Southampton, Portsmouth, and Gran Alacant with fondness. Someone once asked me if I loved Australia; after thinking about it for a minute, I had to say no! I like this country for everything it has done for me and the opportunities it has given both of us, but I hate the loneliness and the deep sense of loss I feel.

If circumstances had been different, Darrell and I wouldn't be here. We would still be happily (or not) living in Britain, surrounded by friends and family. I'm not sure our lives would be as comfortable as they are now, but we would have a large network of contacts around us. As I grow older, I find people more important, and I wish we had a wider circle of friends. It is difficult for outsiders to make strong connections here, especially at 55 years old. As a wise Australian once confirmed, Aussies make their friends in high school and tend not to deviate from that group. When two older gay men arrive from Europe, with little or no support, then life is going to be tough —certainly tougher than it would have been, had we stayed in Britain.

​As Darrell and I look forward to a new adventure in May, travelling to Osaka and Kyoto, we are both aware of just how far we have come in such a short space of time. Naturally we are grateful to Australia for all it has given us, as we navigate this new life down under, but we are also regretful for everyone we have left behind. I miss my Father every day and always look forward to hearing from friends back home. I am sad we don't have a satisfying lifestyle here, but I hope, even now, given time, that will change. In the meantime, both of us will continue to strive for a better and more productive future. Keeping our hopes and dreams alive, at a time when we need them most, is important — we obviously have each other, Mum, and a few close friends. These are quite simply the people who matter, everything else takes second place.