Here We Go Again!

On Saturday the Prime Minister announced a second lockdown to begin from Thursday. I was working at The Newcome at the time, as all of us waited with bated breath for the details of exactly what was going to happen. From Wednesday evening, along with many millions of us, I will be furloughed once again, as the pub I work for closes its doors for a second time. Each of us who work there, were prepared for this day, but it doesn't make it any easier to cope with. The mental health of workers, up and down the nation is beginning to suffer, as each of us battle our way through this turmoil. We have to learn to look towards a positive future, rather than constantly looking back at a time, all of us will need to forget, in order to move on.

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I had a brief telephone call with Darrell this morning, just to make sure everything was OK in Australia. There is so much death and pain in the UK at the moment, that it does make a pleasant change to hear good news, from the other side of the World.

Australia, like New Zealand, has handled this pandemic well, far better than us. Darrell told me that Western Australia is beginning to open up to the rest of the country, in a way it hasn't up to now. Western Australia's isolationist stance has sheltered it from the worst of COVID and as a result life has carried on as normal. Naturally Darrell is concerned about what is happening here, and like everyone else, shocked at the mess Britain is in. Both of us are still working towards seeing each other next year, but we are not holding our breath; this is a virus that keeps on giving and who knows where we will be in a twelve months time.

Looking back to the first lockdown, 8 months ago, it was a particularly difficult time for me. Like most people my anxiety levels were high and the fear I experienced on a daily basis was palpable. I withdrew from life in a way I have never done before, attending only my core hours at work and for the first time ever, undertaking an exercise regime, walking from one side of Portsmouth to the other. Physically I felt fit but emotionally and mentally I was drained and dreadfully unhappy. Lockdown life had taken its toll and the repercussions have been difficult to shake.

Only recently I was able to resume normal activities, interacting with friends and family and working overtime when I am able. My anxiety had all but disappeared, and I was happy with my life, despite the pandemic simmering under the surface. Surrounded by good people, mates and work colleagues, I was able to overcome my trepidation surrounding the virus and get back to a sense of normality, that only existed before COVID drove headlong into all our lives. Of course nothing is forever and for the last month I have been preparing for this very day once again; deaths are rising at an alarming rate and all of us are now faced with the prospect of living through yet more hard times, away from loved ones, isolated at home.

It is ironic that just as I have become used to the 'new normal,' we are returning to the Draconian measures employed during the first wave; I have once again begun to feel anxious about the weeks and months ahead. The World I had created recently, involving a few close friends, colleagues and family, has suddenly become out of reach again and lockdown part two is about to take centre stage. As the NHS battles to save lives, Zoom calls will become the norm, a telephone call becomes the only interaction we are likely to have and separation, segregation and quarantine is necessary to stem the tide of the virus.

The mixed messages, confusion and incompetence, our Government has exemplified over the course of this pandemic, have highlighted the failings that have brought us to where we are today. Boris and his bunch of nobodies, has brought this country to its knees and as much as I will follow the rules, I am becoming increasingly weary of the flip-flopping inconsistency and lack of clarity shown by this shoddy Government. They accept the scientific advice when it suits them and disregard it when it promotes their agenda. I am exasperated by the appalling lack of judgement and failure to learn from the mistakes of the past. If we want to understand the course of the virus, we only have to look to Europe and the rest of the World for answers. We have been blinkered as a nation and refused to accept restrictions of liberty in order to save lives; that is a terrible indictment on all of us.

If we are going to survive the next few months, we need to do what's right for us now. We need to follow our own set of rules to remain safe and stop trying to make sense of the Governments guidelines. Confused about what we can and can't do, I have stopped trying to understand the regulations. I just can't worry and stress any more, about circumstances that are being ignored and exploited by others. I know the right thing to do - washing my hands, socially distancing and wearing a facemask and as long as I continue doing that, I feel content with my response.

As the curtain falls on the new normal once again, I am looking forwards to a little bit of 'me time.' I will embrace a return to diminution, curtail my activities and sink back into hibernation. I am well-used to spending time unaccompanied and thankfully enjoy my own company, so for me this isn't a difficult process in the short term. For others, a return to lockdown will be hard and I will do all I can to reach out to them; people are social animals, we all need someone. As I continue on my journey away from those I love, I will always have an open heart for anyone who needs a hug, even if it is given virtually. Good luck to all of you once again, I'm at the end of a phone if you ever need to talk, we will all get through this together I'm sure and see one another on the other side!

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