Friends!

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Our friends and family back in The UK, are never far from our thoughts.  With facebook and social media, we never miss them, in the way we used to, when we lived in Australia twenty years ago. On average I will get a couple of emails or messages a day from people back at home.  Despite one negative message, right at the beginning, when we first moved here, every message has been positive in nature, wishing all of us, all the luck in the World, for our new life.

​Only yesterday I received a message from my Brother from another Mother, Gavin Manning.  Despite going through a tough time, he was still able to offer his love to us all out here in Spain.  It is strange, that the people we had less contact with in Britain, have been the ones who have offered us the kindest wishes and have been the most genuine with their words.  Words do not cost a fortune to say.  They are heart felt and come from people who whether you like them or not, have had an impact on you.  I have always been brought up to speak my mind and express my feelings, whenever I feel it is appropriate.  People really don't uunderstand, just how important words are, to those who receive them!

​I wanted to say to all those who continue to stay in contact with us, a big thank you, for reinforcing my faith in people.  So many, who were close, have turned out to be the lowest of the low, cheaters, liars, users and abusers. It really is amazing to see such a strong core group of friends we know, still there, still supporting and still encouraging us to move forward with wherever life takes us.  These were always the important ones in our life.  It just took us a while to realise it!

You do learn a lot about human nature over your life time and to be perfectly honest, most of it is not great.  The people who shouted loudest on my behalf, the friends who pretended to be there forever, wouldn't let you down and spoke with platitudes, these are the ones who are no longer in my life.  These were the bad ones, akin to those who tried, without success to destroy my life at work.  These people were no different and actually were far worse, through their pretence at friendship.

Isolation from true friends was the key to understanding what exactly was happening a year ago.  Someone I thought was a friend, who I thought was protecting both myself and my partner from bad elements, by preventing these people entering our life, was in fact, as I know now, isolating us from our true and honest friends. Manipulative individuals, with their own agenda were the reasons, why much of our troubles escalated.  Personally I am a very open, honest and accepting and importantly take people at face value.  I don't believe they are liars, I believe that all people tell the truth. There lies my faults.  A belief in the wrong people all my life.  I also trust the judgement of those I regard as close, over and above anyone, especially myself.  So the manipulators won the day, spouted their untruths and isolated us, from those, who were real  in our life.

This is the point, I really want to name names, but will resist, yet again for now.  My life has moved on dramatically, and I don't want the likes of those who were responsible for some terrible times, to have any excuse to start with their pathetic games yet again.  

Let me return to the positive elements, the ones we left behind and the ones who have been instrumental in helping us achieve all we want to in our life.  I have mentioned Gavin, who I really do send my warmest wishes to at the moment and hope everything turns out well.  Lee Ralph has also always kept in touch and we have spoken to each other on and off ever since we have been here.  Lee was there when I was at my most ill and he will always be a favourable ray of light for me.  Claire Tooley, has also always remained stead fast and whatever happens in her own life, she will always have a place in mine.  Nils and Sara Rattan, have always given me a reason to smile and like others can see the profound change in me.  Wonderful friends with hearts of gold. Justin Phillips, who we have spoken too since moving has sent some of the loveliest messages of support, has also rebuilt my faith in others.  He is most welcome to stay at Casa Caprice both this and any year he wants to.  Dale, who helped us move over, is the most treasured friend we are ever likely to have.  A true and honest guy, who I have known for longer than Darrell and I have been together.  A friend in every sense of the word. Chris Jennings and Sharna Parker, who were so supportive, during our final few days in The UK, their friendship, being one of the most important we have. It was great to renew our friendship with Nathan Stephens, whilst living over here.  I had missed what we had and despite living miles apart, I know we can at least have a bond. Thank you also to Gemma, Alison, Melissa, SJ, Ramona, Aunty Myra and everyone who has been there for us.  These people are truly admirable and honourable and each of them in their own way have helped us get to grips with our new life, despite living hundreds and hundreds of miles away!

We have of course made many new friends in Spain, very different to those we left behind in Britain.  The people who live and work in Gran Alacant are individuals in every respect.  All of them have come here for their own reasons, but everyone has one thing in common, that allow each of us to get along.  We have left our lives in the UK, with an aim to start a new life, with fresh challenges.  The common bond of survival is what makes each of us move forward and the friendships that form are just as important as those we left behind,  Restarting a life can be hard, but would be all the harder without people around us.  People are the life blood of creation and each one of us is trying to create our own unique slice of life.  Combined, the community works well.  My new friends are my future.  Those from my old life are a reminder of the past and also a warning to never again allow the terrible aspects of human nature into ones circle. Those that are left in The UK, constantly remind me to push onwards, remind me, I am missing nothing and empower me to achieve all I want to achieve.  They are the good ones that are left, who I will always carry with me, in my thoughts and memories. These are the ones I miss every day and the individuals who helped shape me as a person!

My views of friendship are very different from most peoples.  I want to enjoy everlasting bonds with people I care about, through honest and genuine time spent with one another.  A lot of friends will tell you what you want to hear, then talk about you behind your back.  At the time you believe what others are saying to you, but as time goes on and the truth drips out you finally find out how sincere they are, in the worst way possible.  

I will always do what I can to help others, even if that means I go without myself.  I am a giver and most importantly, I do not take, from anyone, whether you are a friend or not.  I just do not believe it is right to take from anyone.  I am trusting to a fault and sadly others know that and take advantage of my good nature.  That is not something I can or want to change, but I have become far more careful and observant since moving to Spain.  I no longer wish to tolerate the scum, I have had to put up with in the past.  I am far more guarded and will not let people into my life easily any more,  Funny enough the bad people are the ones who taught me that.  It is why they are terrible people, because no one knows nothing about them. They keep their true selves hidden.  I do not intend to hide who I am of course, but I pick and choose who I want to tell about the real me.  Thus far this approach is working!

My complicated relationships with friends is not something that can be explained simply.  It is about personal experience and being true to oneself.  I will not give any more second chances to people any more and will certainly never be so stupid, as to have people in my life, who are essentially the reasons why my existance is so bad. One strike and you are out, that has to be the way forward now.  No more toleration of those who quite simply have no right to breath the same air as good people!

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