Family!

29/5/2018

I arrived in my hometown of Fareham on a hot Sunday morning and my father met me from the train station; chatting in the car on the way to their home in Catisfield, just a short car ride away, I was captivated by the scenes of yesterday, appearing before my eyes. It did feel very strange being back in the town where I grew up between 1971 and 1992. As we travelled in the car, I was struck by just how much the place had changed and rather surprised at just how built up this small market town on the south coast of England had become.

I spent a good few hours with my Mother and Father, who I have not seen for many years for various reasons; circumstances, lifestyle choices and a difference of opinion being just three! We did have rather a lot to talk about as we discussed many different subjects and aired many divergent views! It was good to finally have a frank, honest discussion with my parents about my life, Bipolar and the problems of growing old, both in the UK and of course my home in Spain.

I am very different to Mum and Dad and have chosen an unorthodox road in life. Like most parents, they have expressed their concerns about my choices in the past and Sunday was no exception. I am of course happy to discuss my current situation but will always follow my own path; Mum and Dad are well aware of this, if a little apprehensive about my future security. I understand what they are saying, I often feel rather unstable and confused about where I am myself, but in the end, whoever we are, we will always do what we believe is best for our own well-being. It was lovely to see Mother and Father and I will definitely see them again before I leave the UK!

At two o'clock I made my way to Funtley Village Hall where members of my family were gathering for a farewell party, saying goodbye to my Great Aunty Margaret who is moving to Wales with her daughter and my Cousin Amanda and her lovely partner. All of them are beginning a new adventure, working the land and enjoying their lives in such a beautiful part of the United Kingdom.

Ever since I can remember, our family have always had special parties and events at this old village hall. The last time I was here would have been thirty years ago, as my life moved on, away from my roots. Sitting next to my Aunty Carol, discussing the family over the years, the youngest generation running around, playing under tables, skidding on the floor, I was reminded of just how important these bonds are. I was the young child frolicking with other children in years gone by, enjoying a buffet made my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins; I was once more part of a family, that at one stage was the biggest in Hampshire, enjoying the company of those I had left behind.

A montage of family photographs, especially arranged for the day. I haven't seen these in many years; memories of happy times!

It was wonderful to see a wall of photographs, encompassing all of the family, arranged for such a special day. So many faces I had not seen for a generation or more, many of whom were in attendance on Sunday.

I was apprehensive turning up as I did to join everyone saying their goodbyes. I was unsure as to the welcome I would receive, but I had no reason to worry, everyone was a joy to be around; it felt just like yesterday.

I realised the importance of family on Sunday and how much it means to me now, as I head towards my fifth decade. Wherever I am in future, no matter how far away, I will always be close to loved ones, a reminder of a special day!

After such a lovely afternoon in the village hall, my cousins Chris and Maria took me for a ride around the area in which I grew up. An area that has changed out of all proportion, although the flat I grew up in as a young baby is still there, along with the schools I attended as a child and the house I lived in with my parents, during those difficult teenage years.

This was a rather emotional journey and one I will probably never undertake again. I haven't seen these landmarks for many many years and despite the inevitable redevelopment over time I did recognise many of the places I enjoyed as a child. As I grow older I appreciate my humble beginnings more and more; it is important for me to reconnect with a past I have sadly avoided up until now!

On Sunday evening and Bank Holiday Monday I spent time with with my Uncle Paul and Aunty Helen, as well as my extended family in Portchester. Once again we discussed our different lives, Paul in Hampshire, Helen now living in the Channel Islands and me living in Spain. It was interesting as a writer to see just how much had transpired in the intervening years. The last time I had seen many of my relations was in the 1980's, things were very different back then. I felt proud of all of them for their hard work, achieving all they set out to achieve. My life is somewhat different containing periods of success but many more years of adversity. If anything, those I spent time with on the long weekend, inspired me to focus on the future and not the issues of the past.

On Monday we had breakfast at Port Solent Marina and a walk along the coast from Portchester Castle. I was last here in 1982, at eleven years old. This was the first time I appreciated exactly where I came from, a beautiful part of Britain, along the south coast of England; a wealth of history and scenic views for everyone to enjoy!

I finally arrived at my Aunty Trisha's yesterday evening following a short train journey from Portchester. After a quick catch up with my Aunt and Cousin Rachel it was time for a few vodka's. More talk about the future and the beginning of five weeks spent with family in Portsmouth, the town of my birth. This is certainly turning into a trip down memory lane, a pilgrimage I should have done years ago. In a few weeks time, I should finally understand where my future lies, until then it's time to chill and relax with family and friends!