Darrell Martin!

This is going to be a hard one to right;  I'll do my best to be as honest as possible, because he deserves nothing less.  Darrell was born in Australia, coming from Kalgoorlie, a gold mining town in the desert of Western Australia.  Kalgoorlie isn't the sort of place you really want to grow up gay; it is an oasis of straightness, legalised brothels and Australian, beer drinking men with attitude.  I apologise if I insult anyone from there, I am going by what he told me,

Darrell was born partly in Kalgoorlie and partly in Perth;  It's a long story, but I read his palms, and that's what it told me.  I met Darrell while he was going out with a friend in 1993, he was on a work visa, doing what Australians do, which is very little in reality. To be honest apart from his sexy Jason Donovan accent, I couldn't stand him.  He was arrogant, just how I imagined Australians to be!

One thing led to another, and he ended up moving in with myself and my ex partner. Darrell had the role of House Boy for a while and failed miserably, except for the sex part.  Now I need to be diplomatic here -  after a rather unusual meeting of like-minded individuals, Darrell and I fell in love. Yes it was love, nearly at first sight.  

We had had a heavy evening, and I was probably 'Manic', when I suggested we run away to Australia; it kind of made sense at the time.  So after asking my ex for my passport, we got on the first train out of Southampton, to London, spangled.  We must have spent about three days in London before we left for Australia. Using the insurance money, after Darrell's lung collapsed on a plane over the Middle East, and he was hospitalised in Singapore, we eventually arrived in Perth, some 21 hours later!

We tried to live in Australia twice, even planning to fake my death, probably 'Manic' again, but it just did not work out. The wildlife, sex-crazed women and dubious accommodation put pay to that in the end; so in 1998 we settled in the UK. In that same year we had a 'Rite of Blessing' at The Quaker Hall in London Road, Southampton, the only thing we could do to recognise our union at the time.  

We managed to stay together, even with the threat of deportation, after Darrell refused to leave when his visa expired. We hired a Barrister, called for a Judicial Review and our case was even discussed in Parliament. There was no legal basis for our relationship back then, GAYS DIDN'T EXIST, at least ones with foreign partners didn't. He was told to leave the Country and again refused; we used the Legal Process to wait out a change in the law; later in 1998 our de facto relationship was finally recognised. He managed to avoid deportation, just! I think Darrell was granted Indefinite Leave to Remain in the year 2000.  We were the second gay couple in the country to be given legal status, after being beaten to the finish line by a couple of old Lesbians; gutted!

Darrell and I moved about a bit, living in Lancashire and Salisbury, but never really settled; this was pre Bipolar diagnosis.  Towards the end of 2003 I became quite ill, and had a minor stroke.  We walked away from the business we ran together, in order to preserve my life in reality.  We moved back to Southampton immediately afterwards, where I was put on medication; these were terrible years; every course of medication was failing.  Darrell put up with a lot, as he always has done; nothing was working. However, he continued to work throughout this period, taking no benefits from The State.  He is proud of that, and so he should be!

Darrell remained working for a coffee shop for about ten years.  If I am honest, he didn't enjoy his time here and slowly became depressed. Eventually he moved onwards, thinking he had changed his life for the better. Of course, as I know now, it was the biggest mistake of his life.

After harassment, lies, suicide attempts and an association with some of the worst people in my life, we are still together, and we always will be.  Despite people trying to split us up, we love each other, a word they don't even comprehend.  Currently, in the middle of a complete Bipolar Relapse, we are stronger than ever, looking forward to our Marriage and spending time with people we love and care for,  Both of us are sick of the childishness and immaturity, as well as the lies and rumours.  

I suppose we have got to a stage, where we don't care about the games people play, the emotional blackmail and the disrespect.  Both Darrell and I are welcoming, good people, who deserve better from others, who we have done everything to support and look after.  Today is the day we say goodbye to it, we just can't be bothered to fight this behaviour any more.  Eventually you discover who the real friends are, sometimes it can be a hard battle to fight!

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