Christmas, Home or Away? - Luke Martin-Jones!

Christmas Spain 2017

Darrell and I have spent Christmas in many different towns, cities and countries since we have been together; there isn't much we haven't done at this time of year. When making a decision about where I would like to spend the festive season, I have to base my dreams on past experiences. For the last four years, I celebrated Christmas at home in the UK; whether I enjoyed my time is immaterial, sadly I have so many bitter reminiscences, I would hate to be back there again, especially at such a happy time. I have done much to block out the pain of the past and move forward, which is why I would always choose to be away. My life now is incomparable to 2021, and for that I am truly grateful!

The essence of Christmas, at least for me, is being around loved ones and those closest. The last four years, although clouded with bad memories, allowed me to spend time with family and friends, very different to years gone by. There are of course some people I am glad to see the back of, and never want to see again. For that reason, I would love to be back home in Spain, with the community I grew to love. Celebrating Christmas with my Spanish friends and neighbours, I would be sat comfortably in Sierra Mar Square, inside Zest, having a few pints of Mahou, before walking down the hill to cook lunch at our Casa in the sun.

Mine and Darrell's last Spanish Christmas was memorable for all the right reasons. We were together celebrating, having a glass or two of Cava, opening a rather large hamper given to us by his grateful employers at Alicante Airport. It was a simple affair; there weren't hoards of people around, just us and the cats, watching British satellite TV, the Queen's Speech and sharing a typical Christmas dinner. Well, I say typical, but we didn't have lots of money, so everything was affordable, and we had chicken, instead of the more expensive alternative.

That was a special time for us, the final Christmas we spent together as a couple, away from the stress and strain of family life, bickering, quarrels and discord that is the hallmark of most such occasions. From our mesmerising parties at The Mansion during Christmas 1993, surrounded by our gay family and friends, to the last Christmas I spent with Mum and Dad in 2008, we have seen it all. In later years we would invite people over who had nowhere to go, giving me a reason to open the door on Christmas Day; in Portsmouth with my Aunt at the height of the pandemic, the reality of separation and disconnection with the World was palpable. However, none of these occasions compare to the time we spent in Spain, doing what the Spanish do, simply, without fuss or frill!

I yearn for the time we finally have a home of our own and can do what we want at Christmas and any other day. The 25th of December will be very different this year in Australia, but that's what makes me and Darrell survivors, after another problematic year. For now, I will continue to dream of our little house in Spain, the recollections of happier times and the memories I will take with me wherever I am in the World. Finally, I look forward to Christmas next year, in our new home together, so far removed from where we are today, remembering what I hope will be our most successful year yet; present hardships but a distant memory!

Feliz Navidad

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