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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Charlatan or Confidant - Part IV

6/10/2016

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Reliving events that brought us to spain. 'this woman really does need to be stopped'

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In Charlatan or Confidant Part IV, the bullying towards Darrell, turns into threats to his life.  As Darrell suffers at the hands of bullies, my illness gets steadily worse; desperately I contact anyone who will help.

Penny continues to offer support, condemning Veronica, for her inabilities to deal with serious situations.  The blame is laid firmly at our Area Managers door, yet she remains in situ as our region continues to collapse.

A situation, where a Manager has spoken out against the treatment of a vulnerable person, working for Oxfam, has turned into a sustained campaign of bullying and intimidation against the one person who stood against it.  Nobody wants to deal with the unravelling situation, preferring instead, to allow the continued bullying of a paid member of staff.

Darrell is on the brink of having to be signed off sick, like myself, who also worked for the charity.  Two GAY members of staff, bullied, having to be removed for their own safety!
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​'This woman really does need to be stopped'
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Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!  These are online messages, sent in real time, so the grammar, punctuation, will not be perfect!  I have used single capital letters to keep the names of those involved confidential!

14/06/2015 

I honestly believe that head office haven't said anything to her. Almost certain she hasn't even mentioned it too them. I believe this has been said of her own back. I don't think she really understands how to manage people. She truly has destroyed our area; our managers are deflated, unsupported, working to unachievable targets. Hours have been cut; look at D's shop, before she took him on, it used to be Sue and Julia. Both full time; now their is un-experienced young man treading water constantly. Does she support him? No! Look at your shop; the incident with. R; did she address that? No it's been left unresolved! Now look at how D is struggling; all the nonsense that's going on there. Has she actually resolved anything? No It quite simply reminds me of the incident I had to help with in Lymington shop. Bullying; M didn't know how to deal with it; language barriers; so she asked me. I involved B, much to V annoyance why? That's what B is there for; she was furious at V for making me conduct this disciplinary. So in short; I really do not believe that head office would ever act in such an inappropriate manner, by suggesting an Area manager ignores all policies and procedures regarding disciplinary and just go ahead and "sack the lot of them" really? Would a global organisation honestly risk their reputation on the say so of an incompetent failing area manager?? I find that hard to believe. Going forward.... She is due to speak with them all tomorrow I believe? I'd ask for clarification as to what was said by head office; I really would advise D to contact his union. This woman really does need to be stopped; I would also contact B and ask for her advice. Xx
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Can I ring u quickly please x

Yes x 

Ok just spoke to D . He says he can't deal with this bullying cus he will be sacked. H threatened to put him in the boot of his car and take him to the forest. Said he knows where we live and will kill our cats and the phrase why has H killed you D. This is psychotic. I am scared. I think we should go to the police. All too much to comprehend. Not sure if u knew these things. He is such a state...x

I going to go and see him tomorrow. Neither of them are in tomorrow; so hopefully will be any to list down everything that's gone on over a period of months. x 

I was bullied by a guy called G about two years ago. He was constantly messaging Veronica about me. V told me it had been going on for months. I confided in G, I thought was a friend about the suicide. The whole shop new when I got back. It was dreadful. V told me in a meeting with B, because of the constant calls it was slander and bullying. It is a classic sign of victimisation. G was immediately dismissed. H is constantly messaging her, like G. Classic signs. I do not understand why she can;t see this. I had right on my side and full support of B and V. Why hasn't D. I am at a loss. The more I think, the more I realise there is a bullying culture at play. Soz, had to mention. x

V was relatively "new" to our area at the time; she was keen and eager to make her stamp. Fast forward a few years; we no longer have B; her area is failing, she's lost interest. V is panic "hiring" managers, which aren't supported or trained to manage extreme teams of people. R was able to do this, and E; as they had the skills to support and train new managers. Her failings at managing the whole situation and if I'm honest, the area as a whole. Are greatly emphasised in her inability, to deliver support; training and guidance to her staff team. I do not feel it's a "reflection" of anyone individual. Each and every incident of; bullying, victimisation, missed target, un-taken holiday leave, not including each member of staff, that works above and beyond their hours! This merely shows her lack of skills. No more no less.. xx • 15 June

Penny I can't cope with this. I need to talk to someone urgently. I fear I may relapse. Don't tell D. The more I think the more it hurts. I wasn't there for him. He suffered alone. Urgently need to speak to someone, even B. Deep despair..x

Can I phone the police. It is all so sick. I need to make my voice herd. X

I have spoken to Bipolar helpline. They have told me what to do and I am safe. They said I need to speak to someone in authority it will ease the threat of relapse. Just don't tell D. They are in touch and looking out for me. I can deal with that atm. I am strong. I have stayed silent for too long..x

15/06/2015

They suggested canceling wedding. Too much right now. I am sad about it but they r right x

​Helpline phoned again. We are breathing heavily down the phone at each other. Working tho. They said once I say what I need to, it will pass. If u trust B, I really need to speak first thing. I will just state what it true. She always seemed fair. I need to get some answers. Why has he been left to a bunch of bullies, especially after he was attacked, threatened with dismissal, belittled and violated. This is not right. B knows the bulling signs. I am so insenced. Don't get pissed off with me, this is just a very warped situation. I cant comprehend it...x


contacted B

Hi B It's Luke here, Manager of shop f4110. I really need to talk to someone I trust urgently. confidentially. I have been ill for several months and need some urgent advice. Penny urged me to contact you and feels you would be able to help. I really hope I am doing the right thing. I have no where to turn. My number is 07939970*** Best regards Luke

Can you get B to ring me urgently. I have taken advice and been told to ring the police about the threats, as part of a sustained bullying campaign. I want to inform her first. Everyone else is incapable of listening.x

Stop! Both of you are safe right now! You have not slept; I have just read your messages. You are at risk of becoming manic. Please try and rest, just briefly. Why? You need to be stable and well for people to listen and believe you. D is safe, H regardless of what he says; will not harm him. He is not in today; i am going to see him today, I am going to help him record everything that has gone on. I am then go to ensure he goes sick, think logically, if he is home with you, he is safe. Re: the wedding, what is left to do? Do you have help and support with the last bits and bobs? Myself? I wouldn't cancel it; why? Then H has won! Both of us need to support D, you silently. Myself I will be his voice, he will be heard!! I promise you will all sincerity.... D will be heard; this will stop! I just wish you knew me, as well as he does, to trust me. I will not let H harm him. There is no way I would ever let that happen; D knows this... Please please try and rest, do you have anything at home that you can take to bring you down? I am so concerned for you, reading through your messages, you are at risk of becoming unwell. Please try and think logically, H is not there today, I will be there!
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Why was bullying being ignored? Why was Penny, a work colleague, speaking her mind about our mutual Manager, yet doing nothing to stop her destroying our region?  

Penny seems to be talking the talk, yet has nothing to offer herself, to solve the problems, caused, in her opinion, by our Manager's incompetent and reckless behaviour.  If this is what she believed, why had she done nothing to end the dreadful circumstances now at play?  

​Threats to cause harm, bullying, victimisation, all ignored!
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    48-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my home town of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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  • Blog
  • The Story Of Us
  • Other Blogs
    • Forever Enduring Cycles Blog 2015 >
      • Forever Enduring Cycles
      • Bipolarcoaster
      • Books For Sale
  • Gallery
  • Spain
    • First Month
    • Three Months
    • Six Months
    • One Year
    • 2 Year Anniversary
    • Spanish Views
    • Gran Alacant >
      • GA Advertiser
      • Gran Alacant News
      • LoungeD
      • No Wives Club
  • About
    • New Life
    • Wedding
    • 21 Years
    • Timeline
    • My Story
    • Australia 2016/17
  • Guest Bloggers
    • Penelope Wren
    • Debra Rufini
    • Claire Coe
    • Richard Guy
    • Optimistic Mummy
    • Julie Rawlinson
    • Letters Of Hope
  • Links
  • Contact
  • My Writing
    • Short Stories From My Youth
    • Verruca Almond
    • The Streets