A Time For Friendships - The advancing second wave!

On Sunday I met up with Ramona, my best mate from University, for our monthly lunch date. This time we drove to The Crate and Apple Gastro pub, just down the road from the famous, Chichester Cathedral. The food was once again superb, especially dessert, the baked cheesecake, the special of the day. I was obviously a little dubious choosing the sweet course considering my IBS issues, but threw caution to the wind and gave it a go! The flavours were sensational; the fruit  and edible flowers, a perfect accompaniment with this home cooked dish. The main course was great also, although the lamb was just a little overcooked for my taste, nevertheless it was worth every penny.

We were seated by the fire in this traditional pub and once again chatted for the two hours we were there, about what we had been up to over the last month and most importantly, how we had been coping during this pandemic. Both of us have elderly parents, so have been doing our best to avoid putting them at any risk. Like me, Ramona feels it is important to keep a safe distance, until the danger has passed, but that does leave both her and I in a difficult position. Loneliness and a disconnection from loved ones has taken its toll and if I am honest, like Ramona, I am feeling more worn down by the day.

My old Uni friend has become an important part of my life, as I wrestle with the issues around Coronavirus. We both hadn't seen each other for a while, before meeting up over the last few months. We had however spoken on the phone, when COVID-19 was at its height, helping each other through a particularly difficult time in all our lives. There is definitely something very reassuring about having someone close, who you grew up with during an exceptionally enlightening time. Coming to terms with my sexuality and leaving home for the first time, was both thrilling and challenging, and I was lucky enough to share these important years with Ramona!

I have found myself reaching out to people more and more, especially now, as we approach the second wave of this pandemic and I'm not really sure why. I guess my own mortality has become a source of concern, especially after feeling so terribly ill in the spring, but it's more than that. My relationship with friends has always been strange, pushing them away more, then I invite them in. I have always been afraid of getting hurt, as I have been in the past, but I have also been a bit of a loner, preferring to spend time with my own thoughts and feelings, writing, reading and enjoying a solitary lifestyle. I had so many bad influences in my life at one stage, I had to rid myself of whole swathes of people, in order to move forwards.

Of course Ramona is one of the good guys, but I still find it difficult to trust anyone, after the turmoil I suffered at the hands of others. She has restored my faith in friendships and made me realise just how important they are now. None of us know how long we have left in this World; having a close bond with someone, for over thirty years is a rare thing, something special to be cherished and not discarded because of a misguided sense of foreboding. If this pandemic has taught me anything, it is the importance of friends, these are the people, who along with my family, have got me through these terrible painful months.

After lunch, we both took a leisurely walk, between showers to Chichester Cathedral, which was stunning. I am a deeply spiritual person, if not religious, and have always found comfort in such buildings. The place was rather empty, probably due to the pandemic and the restrictions in place, but it was the perfect venue to while away an hour, contemplating life during such a tragic period and remember those who were close and no longer with us.

It seems the church has also moved with the times; QR codes were dotted across the Cathedral, so we could donate if we wished, at the click of a button on our phone. There were also the usual social distancing measures in place, sanitizer around every corner and cleared spaces for easy access. It made a pleasant change to be away from the city and enjoying some much-needed time in the company of a friend who has always meant so much.

After a walk into the historic city and a browse around the shops, it was time to say goodbye for another month. It is days like this that keeps me going, knowing I have something to look forward to. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and although we don't see each other every day, it is a blessing they are there at the end of a phone, when times get rough. The World may well have changed out of all recognition and people can't be as close as they were, but it is reassuring to know, somethings never change - the friendship we share, the similarities we convey and the memories that hold us together, will always be a part of who we are!

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