Burning Ones Bridges!

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4 December 2015

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Back to work

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I'm going back to work on Monday, finally fighting fit, after the long road to recovery ended.  It has been a long time since I have been in a working environment, but after speaking to the current Manager, I feel sure, everything will run smoothly.  They are a great bunch, at London Road.  I have tonnes of respect for all of them and they have been nothing but supportive, so I will be happy to see all everyone, as soon as I get back.

Jason has been terribly ill this week, so a colleague invited us round for a meal, just to take the pressure off and allow Jason to relax for a bit, last night!

Jason has just mentioned the Lady we had dinner with, and called her wholesome.  I had to think for a bit, what he meant by wholesome, but understand what he is getting at.  Good, honest, true.  Three words to describe her.  Three words we should all aspire too!

She cooked Italian and we spent a good five hours chatting about everything.  It isn't until you sit down with someone, that you discover the real truth, the real person and their real purpose.  In all honesty, so many people have said their bit and had their say, that sometimes, the facts get skewed and that has been a major problem all along the line. 

It was a wonderful, relaxing and enjoyable evening, spent with someone who has a heart of gold and truly made us feel welcome, as ever.  When you go into someones house, there are occasions when you feel uncomfortable, this was nothing but.  We had a lovely time and will reciprocate as soon as we are able!

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Monday

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So back to work it is on Monday.  Looking forward to it,  Can't wait to get back into the swing of it and see all the old volunteers, as well as many new ones I am sure.

It's not until you have been truly ill, that you actually begin to realise, just what is important to you.  Friends and the family I have left, as well as all those who have helped us through this difficult time.

I don't even care that my life changed for the worst, over the last eight months, because you know what I am still alive, that is all that matters!

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4 December 2015

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We are sat here now, going through stuff.  It really amazes me, just how much our lives have changed over the years.  I used to love dealing in shares and bought all of those, pictured on the right, over a short space of time, just before 9/11.  Just my luck.  Lost thousands of pounds in shares over night.  At least I can laugh about it now!

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Life for us, tends to change, on ten year cycles.  I would not like to put that down to Bipolar, though I am sure it plays its part.

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Burning ones Bridges!

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We popped out this morning for a walk, as the weather was great and there is supposed to be a storm coming in later.  Have loads to do this afternoon, sorting through twenty years worth of paperwork.  Believe me, that is a lot of paperwork!

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Paperwork

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We literally have not been through paperwork for twenty years.  Two filing cabinets, full to the brim with statements, letters and memories.  Trimming down ones life, does not finish at the auction house, it should include every part of ones life, so that's what we are doing!

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So this evening we are going to finish going through our filing cabinets and burn what ever we need too.

This process, debating what to keep, can be complicated.  Due to the nature of our relationship, we have to keep mountains of paperwork, even now.

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The end of another day.  Burning memories from the last twenty years.  Stuff I have been collecting in filing cabinets and draws for reasons, I can't explain.  Once again. a weight lifted, as one watches, ones life burn!

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INFORMATION

In this rehash of my second blog, Forever Enduring Cycles, I refer to Darrell as Jason, his birth name. We both changed our titles, when we left for Spain after taking legal advice. Writing about ones old employer, after the injustices they committed would have been impossible, using our real identities; a pseudonym was the answer. Three years have passed since I began blogging; although I still write under the name Luke Martin-Jones, I am no longer afraid to reference my partner and I in the correct manner! In time, as Oxfam are finally brought to account, I will once again be able to speak freely, without fear of reprisals!

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Reflections - 24 March 2018

In the first part of this blog entry, entitled 'Burning ones Bridges,' first written on 4 December 2015, Darrell and I spent an evening at a friends house; dinner and conversation flowed late into the night.

Both of us were invited to a work colleagues home, another Manager who was based in Eastleigh. Since the person in question no longer works for Oxfam, I am happily allowed to refer to her by name; Hilary. Like us, Hilary had become a victim in Oxfam's games; bullied, sidelined and abused by a Manager who had no thought for her staff. Hilary was still working for them at the time we paid a visit; this period at Oxfam was a strained affair and not one she looks back on with fondness and who can blame her.

We had a wonderful relaxing night, spent in the company of a dear close friend, who remains in contact today, exchanging correspondence frequently. The three of us had much to talk about. I was returning to work at the very time Hilary was leaving. She couldn't take the harassment any longer. Like Darrell and I, her health had suffered dramatically and it was the right time for her to take a final bow.

Without people like Hilary my life would have been far more difficult. She was a great source of advice and comfort at the time and was there when no one else was. We all shared our problems often, it helped us come to terms with what was going on. It is sad that other Managers didn't offer support us at such a crucial time, but looking back I can understand why. Most had no idea what was going on and others had seen it all before, not wanting to become Veronica Raymond's latest victim. We three were the lucky ones, getting out when we could. It is painful giving up a career, you have dedicated your life to, but in the long run, sat here writing today, it was the best thing that could have happened.

The second half of this entry refers to the night we finally began to go through decades of paperwork. Our impending move to Spain, was becoming a reality, so we both felt it was time to start destroying a lifetime of documents. This was a difficult process; even after being together over twenty years, we both had to keep everything, that proved our partnership. The Foreign Office could demand access to our files at anytime, in order to verify we are still together; we kept the most important files and burnt the rest.

It's funny really, now we both live in Spain, we have no need to keep any of these papers. We have lived outside of the United Kingdom too long now, so Darrell's entitlement to live and work in Britain, is no longer an option. He would have to go through a process of settlement once again, as he did twenty years ago. Since neither of us intend returning, our life in the UK has come to an abrupt end and we can finally rid ourselves of all references to our time together living in Southampton. As a hoarder and collector, I doubt I will get rid of these memories anytime soon!

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