Principles!

In today's entry, I just wanted to talk briefly about 'principles.'  I have been told on many occasions, that I have too many principles, in fact so many, it has held me back in life. Recently, during a conversation, the same subject popped up again, as someone else, tried, to judge my character, somebody I don't particularly know, who assumed they knew me well enough, to question my principles. I do have a moral compass and will never deviate from what I believe to be right, because it has shaped me as a person and been a constant in my life, throughout many successes and failures and allowed me to hold my head high. Some people might call me self righteous, but I am committed to my beliefs and will not forget them, for short term gain.

Over the last few years, I haven't met many people with principles. For me, this is disheartening. I believe a principled human being is a person of character and substance. Don't get me wrong, I am no saint and have not always been so conscientious; however times change and I have learned a lot from past mistakes and indiscretions. Life is a learning process; whether or not we use our knowledge positively for change or negatively, looking backwards, following the same path, we were on before, is up to us. 

Even at my worst, I still had ideals, a set of rules I have always lived by. I could never understand how others, just drifted through life, uncaring, doing damage to all those they meet. I have crossed paths, with many people like this, individuals with no conscience, who will walk over their own Grandmother, to get what they want in life. I have never believed in hurting others, to get where I want to be. It is fundamentally wrong to harm or damage anyone, whilst trying to achieve your goals. The fact that I don't act in this way, has equally exposed me to a lot of pain and upset, above and beyond, what anyone should expect. When confronted by a non principled individual, you can quite easily believe they are the complete opposite, falling for their charm. Staying ahead of them, every step of the way, is key to surviving. One doesn't have to lower ones self down to their level, just be aware of who they are.

Bad people, will always use people like me, to legitimise their dishonesty and personality flaws. If you are not careful, they will entrap you, faster than you can pull away; before you know it, you are dragged into their deceitful lies; becoming people aware is important. Since moving to Spain, I have been constantly on my guard and will always prejudge others. I suppose you could say it is another one of those principles, I adhere to. I have met many people, who I have fallen head over heals with, both in relationships and friendships. They have offered me everything from a good night out, to a friendship akin to family, but I have had to learn restraint, walking away, when I know their intentions are less than honourable. Sometimes it has taken longer than others to discover the truth, leaving more pieces to be picked up.

I pride myself on honesty, I don't hide who I am, don't pretend to be someone I am not and have no agenda. If people tell me about themselves, I believe what I am told. I don't think for one minute, they are hiding who they really are and blatantly lying to my face; in reality, many of them are. As a principled person, when I believe someone to be corrupt or immoral, I have a duty to stay away and keep my distance. In some cases, I will confront these people and warn others of their deficiences. This is all making me seem over bearing, sanctimonious and haughty, I know that; I don't mean to be. I am just making it clear, that I am fully aware of 'TOXIC' people now and won't hesitate to remove them from my life.

Let me return to the subject of principles, before I deviate away from the subject. There are certain things I get passionate about, one of them being ‘bad people!’ I suppose I was brought up in a very principled household. My father was into politics and had convictions that he would never change, even if that meant losing an election and his party remained in opposition. I didn’t always agree with his politics, but I did believe in his steadfast ideals, which taught me a lot in life. I have some very strong views on a number of different topics and would never change them, just because it is popular to think another way, or I may lose a friendship with someone as a result.

As a person who has been a victim of bullying in the past, I have made it my mission in life, to help eradicate this scourge against, not only children, but adults also. If I saw someone being bullied, verbally or physically, I would interject, I would not hesitate to get involved to bring it to an end. I also have very rigid attitudes towards friendship, trusting in loyalty. Friends should support one another during difficult times and not walk away. If I believe someone is right, I will always offer my endorsement and never sit on the fence. For me, principles, are about putting your money where your mouth is, standing up for what is right, fighting to the bitter end, even if that means losing everything and never, ever being taken in by the wrong people again. Listening to ones inner voice and gut instinct is key. Above all never ditch your beliefs.

As an ethical person, I have been held back in life somewhat. I suppose that is a cross one has to bear. Let me give you a few examples. After I found out my boss, at Oxfam was a sociopath, I was asked by my HR department, to stay on, working with the charity, despite her insidious agenda. I could not even contemplate staying in situ, working for an individual, who stood for everything I detest in people; not forgetting this charity is continuing to employ such a person. I lost my job, career and home and left the country, taking the advice of others and sticking with that gut instinct. I remember someone in HR said to me at the time, ‘you could stay and play her at her own game.’ The thing is, I am not a game player, she had hurt a lot of people and was responsible for illness, homophobia, discrimination and pushing colleagues towards the brink of suicide. How could my principles, allow me to continue working for such an evil individual? Others of course may think differently, ditch their ethicalness and conform to what she wants. Many people, still working there, have forgot who they are and the reasons they work for this charity. They have seen good people destroyed, yet turned away and allowed it to happen. I’m afraid that isn’t me!

I have in the past, given up my time and money, to work for causes, that are close to my heart. I volunteered for a children's charity, undergoing harrowing training, in order to help and work with vulnerable children, abused and scarred by people at difficult times in their lives. I detest bullying, violence and abuse of any kind and wanted to give something to those suffering, using my own experience as a tool to try and repair the damage done, by some truly dreadful men and women. A lot of us, sail through life, without thinking about others misfortune; I have never done that, believing we should help others if we have the chance. The time I spent with ‘Action For Children,’ although difficult and challenging at the time, taught me much about myself and life. If you have strong values, always put them first, especially if others benefit as a result. Conventionalities give us a conscience; if I sleep at night, I am aware my conscience is clear; a clear conscience, means you have done all you can to uphold the morals you live your life by; that is the right thing to do!

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