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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Oxfam/Oxscam

2/6/2017

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Just a few words about Oxfam today. Above, is the latest review on the charity from 'glassdoor;' more damaging words, from ex employees. The key phrase in this scathing entry is the reference to senior management being egotistical and favourising certain members of staff.  This is nothing new, from where I am coming from. I have seen this kind of behaviour time after time; it is part of  Oxfam. I knew some pretty terrible individuals, who did some dreadful things, but were spared punishment, because they were protected by those at the top. In fact as I discovered recently, many of these people are still in place, in their jobs, in charge of vulnerable adults.  If you work for Oxfam and are aware of any inappropriate behaviour, you have a duty to report it, to the relevant authorities.

Yesterday I received an email from an ex colleague at Oxfam; I have included the opening paragraph, protecting their identity, by removing their name from the screenshot.

There were very few colleagues, who understood exactly what myself and others were going through. Management made it quite clear, that it should remain an internal matter; the only people who were aware of the implications, were those involved at both ends of the situation. I wouldn't beat yourself up over something that you were not aware of.

When faced with a similar situation, you have to do what you think is right, although ultimately, the more you protest, the more likely it is, you will lose your job; at least in the case of Oxfam. The major difficulty, when dealing with bullying from an Area Manager at this charity, is you have to first take any complaint through him or her. He or she has the power to decide, where to go from there. The reality is, the buck stops with the them, they have complete autonomy over their region. The power they have. accords them rights over and above, most other institutions I am aware of. Oxfam have failed to put checks and balances into their structure, to prevent bullying taking place.

Personally I would go over and above the head of your Area Manager. This is a little unorthodox, but you have very little choice because of the situation you find yourself in. If you are a member of the Union, they should have involvement from day one. Sadly we found UNITE, the union rather lackluster, unable to defend people properly and unwilling to do anything, that would damage Oxfam. Difficulties arose, through their close working relations with the Management team. They had a desk at head office, knew  those with influence well and their loyalties seemed to lie firmly with Oxfam. In my case at least, everything was done to discourage me, from doing anything that may harm them. My rights were not important; UNITE was in the pocket of Oxfam and there was very little I could do about it.

In the end there was nothing further I could do, to stop the bullying at Oxfam. After a year of trying, I made the choice to walk away. My life had become so embroiled in what was happening, I had no life at all. Under such unsustainable circumstances, it was time to move on.

My suggestion to you, is report all instances of bullying without hesitation. Speak to bullying helplines and groups who will help you. but please make sure they are recommended by Government bodies and regulated through reputable organisations. I am not sure of the reasons behind the bullying, in your case, but whether it has any relation to gender, sexuality, nationality, or not, I would seek legal and professional help. You can of course report what is going on to the  police. If you are feeling unwell or stressed because of your treatment, speak to your Doctor and remain off work, until well enough to return. During the period of sickness, you will be required to keep your Manager up to date with your progress. In your case, like mine, your point of contact will be the bully concerned. Keep your messages, direct, to the point and put everything in writing. All other forms of communication with a bully, should be avoided, to protect you from further distress.

The key is to take advice, make a formal complaint and do exactly what you are advised. I remember, whilst in the middle of drafting my complaint, against my Manager, I was in constant contact with Beth Mayes, who was Head of HR at the time. Although she was no real help to me, she did give me numbers of institutions, who could be of assistance. As soon as you receive these numbers, you should phone. I delayed this part of the process, only seeking help, when I was half way through the process. The sooner, you pick up the phone, the better. They were able to help me tremendously, throughout the final stages of my grievance process, against my Manager.

One should be prepared to leave ones job, when this nasty business is over with. It is unlikely anything will happen to this deviant individual. She will remain in situ; Oxfam just do not have the will power to take on such a person. Like me, they will collect evidence from your complaint, to use at a later date. Unless you are prepared to continue working for a bully, you should resign your post, as I did and move on with your life.

I am much better now, than I have been for a long time. I will continue to write About my experiences and try and help others; not being in the middle of the fray has finally shown shoots of recovery, as it will with you and anyone else who has been the subject of bullying. 

​I wish you luck and ask that you keep me informed, anything I can do to help, I will!
​

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    A place to call home
    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
            Luke Feb 16
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