Feeling Invisible as a gay man!

It's been a bit of a strange week for me, as I come to terms with that possible Glaucoma diagnosis. As you would expect, I have done a lot of research into the subject, and rather than make me feel more anxious, I am actually feeling rather philosophical about the whole thing. This isn't a condition I can change, so I just have to live with what may happen in the future. There is a lot they can do for me, should they need to, and I am as confident as I can be for the future.
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On Monday, I burnt my hand, while making dinner. After cooking Carrot and Thyme soup on the stove, I began to ladle it into the blender. After blending up the ingredients, I noticed it was leaking from the bottom. Lifting the jug up from the unit, hot, molten carrot soup, poured over my hand and down my leg. Bloody hell, did I scream!

I ran into the shower, jumped in and stood there naked, keeping my hand under a cold shower, for what seemed like hours. Meanwhile, poor Darrell, cleaned up the mess and ran out to get some ice, telling me to put my hand into ice-cold water on his return. As I know now, that was a mistake and undoubtably caused more damage to my skin.

In the end, the pain was so bad, I went to urgent care here in Midland, where my wounds were dressed by a nurse. She explained that the ice would have caused more damage to already damaged skin, and not to do it in future — that's highly unlikely, since I will never be making soup again! It seems that by running from the kitchen to the shower, I left the hot liquid on my skin for far too long, once again causing more damage. On top of this, I have lost the feeling in my thumb, as a result of nerve damage. This may or may not come back, all dependent on how deep the burn was.

Nevertheless, it seems to be healing neatly and thankfully looks a hundred times better than it did. I am hoping it will be more or less healed in another few days — fingers crossed.

​In my vlog today, I am discussing my feelings of loneliness and the difficulties I am experiencing as a gay man of a certain age. I am no longer the youngster I once was, and moving all over the World since my mid-forties has caused me to feel more and more invisible. Today in Australia, I have very few friends that I can talk to and confide in, relying heavily on friends back home in the UK.

Western Australia is a beautiful place, but the people tend to be rather insular and making a meaningful connection with anyone is hard. Currently, Darrell and I are on our own and have to rely on each other. When you receive difficult news from the Doctor, need a chat about issues you are experiencing on a daily basis, or just need a friend to have a drink with, you find yourself looking for the impossible; they just don't exist.

​I have spoken to many people here about how I feel, and with such a high immigrant population in the west , the majority of them agreed — Australia is a really hard place to integrate.

Despite this fact, neither Darrell nor I will be returning to the UK anytime soon. We have built a good life here, have a beautiful home and are getting ahead in a way we could have only dreamed of in Britain. Feeling invisible does have its advantages too. You can live your life as you think fit, and you don't have to make time for anyone else. I know that may sound sad, but this is the first time we have been in charge of our own destiny. We are doing exactly what we want, travelling to amazing places, and want for nothing. There is of course the nagging feeling of loneliness, but it is a sacrifice we are willing to make to get ahead.

​Nothing lasts forever, and I am sure our outlook may change in the future. For now, we are just happy to be in a good place and not at the mercy of a system that seeks to thwart your every endeavour. Yes, we do feel alone in this vast country at the edge of the World, but that's a cross we will have to bear and a sadness we will have to endure!

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