Charlatan or Confidant - Part VIII

Reliving events that brought us to spain 'hell on earth'

As our Wedding approaches ever faster, I ask Penny to join us on our day, sitting in the front row of the Registry Office.  I later discovered from someone, who had dealt with Sociopathy, that these people, these terrible individuals, often sit in privileged positions at all sorts of events, of people who mistakenly regard them as friends.

Life for myself and Darrell gets steadily worse, prompting me to write a letter to my Union, Unite, demanding action is taken, asking for legal support and detailing issues of Sociopathy, raised by those who had been in a position to help.  Later, I will show, how the Union were no more than a puppet for Oxfam, having an office at Oxfam House, on friendly terms with Management.  This conflict of interest, not only affected me, but many others, who had found themselves a victim of Sociopathy at Oxfam!

​Oxfam had indeed made my life 'Hell on Earth!' 

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'Hell on earth'

​Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!  These are online messages, sent in real time, so the grammar, punctuation, will not be perfect!  I have used single capital letters to keep the names of those involved confidential! I have also highlighted important sentences in red!​

20/07/2015 

Ex-husband owes a ridiculous amount in CSA payments, a few pence short of 30k!!! Yes I know shocking, but he hasn't paid a penny in over 13 yrs! Well inland revenue have now started to investigate family businesses, which amass a great deal more than the outstanding debt. Needless to say a settlement figure is expected shortly! So rather than be happy and chuffed, S has gone all alpha male and is rather "grumpy" wtf??? ? x

It's probably a man thing. The ex husband paying money, that sort of thing. When he see's the money, he'll be fine...x

It's not our money to spend though, it's destined to go straight into Isa's for the children. All a bit "chest Beaty" to me. X

Been sat crying in a mirror for an hour. Someone said how Ill and old I looked. So much pain in my face. It really hit me hard. The pressure is so much now. I am scared.x

Oh bless you! You have nothing to be scared of at all. As for looking old and ill, well how ironic is that; I saw the photo of you having a ciggie in the garden yday, and honestly thought how well and distinguished you looked! Isn't it strange how people see things differently?? Xxx

27/07/2015 

I know I am at breaking point, as is Darrell. I really do feel so ill. More every day. No help from anyone and we are both struggling..x

Actually if you look back, I honestly think you are at the strongest now, than what you have ever been!x Ps the second email didn't have anything on it? But I have forwarded the first one to S, he will be sending it to M today. Crumbs this is so exciting! xx
It's extra hard for you; because Darrell is unwell. That's not something you are used to seeing xx
Ps how's the little cat? X

I still have no medication, after 4 months..cat is getting better. Darrell is angry that makes me also. Having your lives torn apart is the hardest thing we have ever dealt with. If it wasn't for u there would be no one to talk too..x

I fully understand that....... I truly do! But I also recognise amidst all this pain and horror; that your strength of character would never allow that old bitch to finally break you! Even when you are in the depth of despair, your strength pulls you back up again! Not many people can claim that! You truly are stronger now, than what you have ever been. xxx
As for me being here?? Well that's just the way it is! xxx

JG is moving in in a few days to look after us and help with disposing of all this junk around my neck. He was one person I was truly wrong about. Without him we would be literally in bits. He cares so much he wanted me out of here as quick as possible. He has seen me deteriorate and like his previous partner he took on that role of carer so well. He wants to go with us wherever we go and we want him there. He really is like a son. A strong lad. He has been so disturbed by what has happened at Oxfam, he is shocked to the core as well. Still we live and learn...x

It's not junk!!! It's part of who you used to be.... When you brought it all, you needed it! Without any of it, you wouldn't be able to change your lives as you are now doing! Don't punish yourself any further, what you did back then, was to provide the security to help you move forward now. That's a brilliant gift you bestowed upon yourself and Darrell. x He is like your son, I still see him as "angry" though, but in time , you will help him overcome his troubles. That's what "real families" do. But again, I know you're beginning to understand this. In moments of clarity you will see this and understand that you have changed completely, no longer are you that broken soul. You have the love of a select few, the support and admiration of those who have chosen you and Darrell as their family. xx

He is terribly angry for some of the most horrendous things I have ever heard. I guess we offer him a kind of stability oddly. He will miss his little brother so much who he dotes over, but he knows we are good for him and vice versa. We all need chances in life. We always gave him options when others didn't and he has always been 100% with us. Calling me Pops was an honour that I took away. I want it back. I would be honoured to be his dad...x

Does he know this? Maybe now is the time to tell him how you truly feel? Since you've been so unwell, look back and reflect...... It's changed you completely, you truly are a different person. The person you always should of been, someone who is sincere, caring, honest , loving and truthful. No longer do you feel the need to "fit in" neither does being "judged" for who you really matters. Your circle of friends, again have changed, it's reduced dramatically in size. The users and blood suckers don't fool you anymore. You see past all that, you see the person underneath their baggage. You feel a persons integrity and honesty. Those people your chosen family, they see it and feel it too. If Oxfam had not been the "Hell on earth" it became under that woman..... Well would you still be the same person you are now? Or would you still be in the never-ending cycle of deception and mistrust that others had bestowed upon you? What has happened, has changed you all....it has given you the opportunity to become YOU. Embrace these changes, embrace the people that are close to you. Tell JG how you truly feel.. What is your other option? To deny yourself happiness? Nah you've done that for too long. xx

Can't yet. He finds emotions hard and not sure how he would take it. I always looked out for him. The roles have reversed. Not sure I would feel comfortable with that. I will in time...Most see him as the drama Queen. We don't and he does not act like it either..x

But he already knows it....... Crumbs why do you think he is moving in with you ? Let others see him as they wish too..... They aren't as fortunate as you are, why ? Well you get to see the real JG.... He allows you too, he trusts you enough to let you in, with you there are no walls, boundaries. I expect he; like you, is concerned that you too would struggle with the depth of his emotions for you. X

Spoke to Jay. He was hoping I would let him call me Pops again. He said he never changed it in his phone anyway..x

Well that's another big issue dealt with! xxxx
Are you available for a quick chat? X
If so could you give me a ring? Need to talk too you re: your work x

Yes just gonna have a fag then I will ring u..just been doing tarot..x


06/08/2015 

Dear Helen. I really need to ask you a personal favour. You have been there through such terrible times for me and Jason, that I really want you to attend our Wedding, sitting in the front row, as family. I have very little close family left and feel you would do me the greatest honour, to sit with myself and those closest. Family isn't about blood, it is about just how much others have cared and been there for us. I haven't always been grateful, but you have stuck by us. I will understand if you can't, but hope you will on the day! x

Crumbs that's so humbling, thank you. Of course I will come and am honoured that you wish for me to sit with you as your family. xxx

Right what would you like me/Steve to script? Personal professional? X

You shouldn't be doing that sweet. Don't want u to get in trouble x
Do u want me to call? X

I'll send u the email I sent. Darrell is so ill now it is frightening..x

Dear Nick
I thought it was about time I acted decisively, with regards to this long, ongoing grievance process at Oxfam.

I have been off work for nearly six months, suffering from a serious psychiatric injury, due to the continuing burden of a process that should have been completed long ago. My health continues to deteriorate daily. My partner Darrell, is now on medication because of the seriousness of the situation he finds himself in. Recently his medication was doubled, due to harassment that continues from those who have been responsible for both our health issues, which are now serious and causing great concern.

I have spoken to a help line, Psychologist and Solicitor. I have meticulously explained the whole situation that both we and others find themselves in. Our Region is collapsing, Managers are walking out and others are suffering extreme levels of bullying. This is not acceptable.

Each professional we approached, have said the same thing, offering the only conclusion they can reach. They believe 'Sociopathy' is behind everything that is currently at play. We can no longer disagree with this diagnosis.

I myself have been instructed to do the following. Firstly a private assessment at The Spire Hospital, that will give me a report, as to the extent of the damage caused by inaction and inertia. Also to show what serious health issues have been caused by lack of safeguarding, resulting in relapses and suicides. No measures were ever put in place to protect me.

Because of the nature of 'Sociopathy', we have been advised to leave our current situation, home, life and career. In their words, go as far away as you can. We are currently in the process of selling everything we own to start a new life, well away from the ghastly, heinous memories that give me nightmares every night.

I would like access to a Solicitor ASAP, to discuss my options now. Sociopathy is a criminal offence. I am constantly in fear, do not leave my house and no longer lead a normal life. I am so damaged by all this and the continued silence and lack of support, that I have to now take drastic measures to remove myself and my partner from the awful quagmire,

I could never again work for an organisation that has allowed my vulnerability to be exploited by someone so incapable, destructive and malicious. These are strong words, but the evidence is right before our and others eyes, yet no one does nothing.

Darrell continues to receive harassing calls. Firstly a call is made to my phone, using a private number. I never answer such calls. A minute later Darrell answers his phone, as his mother lives in Australia, and her number appears as private. These calls have happened twice now and the language used is distressing. The second time the call was made, Darrell recognised HB's voice.

HB has already threatened to put Darrell in the boot of his car, damage my home and kill my cats.

We will be clarifying the situation with the Police later today, with a written log of events. We will be demanding action under the Prevention of Harassment Act of 1997. While Oxfam decide on a cause of action, well over the stated 28 days, my pay will be reduced to half soon. I demand that full pay is reinstated, since Oxfam's failure to act sooner has left us where we are today.

My rights under the Disability Discrimination Act have been seriously compromised and have resulted in serious disablement, suicides and relapses. I now have to protect myself, my rights and indeed my life.

Regards


Have a hair dye on! Give me 10 mins and phone me xxx ps haven't read your message yet was busy telling it how it is! xxx

Ok phone u shortly..x
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Xxx

Read it! How will I get In Trouble??? Xx

Union man contacted me. No arguments and said we will discuss the next steps..x

Sociopaths are great manipulators.  Whilst trying to be my friend, Penny was quick to  discredit  others who were close at the time.  Her alleged psychic abilities, had shown her the people who were bad for me.  As someone who was vulnerable at the time, I tended to take her advice.  Of course the woman had nothing to back up her theories; it was all part of a terrible act, criminal in nature.

Six months down the line and the biggest Union in the Country, had done nothing, to support myself and my partner.  The corruption, throughout Unite was becoming clearer.  They did nothing to protect myself and others from this Sociopath, in fact they did more to protect her, her sociopathic colleagues and Oxfam's reputation.

Oxfam knew very well, that if the truth got out, that a Sociopath was running wild in a region of 20 Managers and vulnerable volunteers, with their knowledge. they would be in a very difficult situation.

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