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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Charlatan or Confidant - Part IX

26/11/2016

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Reliving events that brought us to spain, 'injustice is shocking'

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A meeting with my Regional Manager Approaches  and Penny  gives advice as to how to approach the discussion.  A decision for my Union to approach Oxfam to arrange a compromise agreement on my behalf is aborted, until after the meeting takes place.

More trouble in our region; Veronica continues to bully other Managers. A group determined to stop her agree to put signatures to a letter.  I consider contacting the Charity Commission.

Penny gives advice on how to 'Piss off Veronica!'
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​'Injustice is shocking'

Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!  These are online messages, sent in real time, so the grammar, punctuation, will not be perfect!  I have used single capital letters to keep the names of those involved confidential! I have also highlighted important sentences in red!​​

07/08/2015

Union man contacted me. No arguments and said we will discuss the next steps..

That's brilliant news x

Spoke to Union. He said he will approach Oxfam on Monday, explain the seriousness of the situation and say I want settlement. He is not hopeful tho. Not sure where we are now really.

Mmmm; what's their options? You will need masses of support.. Possibly a deputy to help shift some of the burden. Or you're pensioned off early? X
Don't forget, that there is "constructive dismissal" If they can't support you effectively to do your role, you wouldn't be able to continue in situ! So have faith, all is not lost yet! x

He told me not to resign and a Tribunal would be terribly difficult, if procedures are not followed correctly. I actually had a row with him, As soon as you mention what she is, everyone clams up. They know full well what she is. x

It's hard for them to "label" her, it will leave them open for all sorts of liable claims. I myself, wouldn't resign, the chances are oxfam will not have a clue on how to support you correctly. I'd tend to follow the, they didn't have correct systems in place route. Xx

Should he still approach them on Monday though? x

Mmmm it's a hard call, if he's not hopeful, why is he approaching them? Are you attending the meeting with P on Monday? X

No, I was told after the 10th. He said he has approached Oxfam before, and their reactions are not normally positive. If it is best to reach the end of the grievance process then I will tell him not too! x

Myself, I'd wait until you have your meeting with P. My reasoning behind it is, If your rep approaches prior to your meeting, he could actually cause more harm than good. P needs to have a conclusion from his investigations as to what oxfam are going to "recognise" on failings from their behalf. Once they have accepted and recognised their failings, it would be easier to reach a final conclusion for you. Hopefully that makes sense?? X

I've text him and told him to hold off! x

I would xx
Right now bugger off! I've got your blogs to catch up on! Xxxx

xxx

10/08/2015 

Just received a nice photo!

Haha this is so accurate! x

15/08/2015 

Hi Penny
Soz was writing
will message in a minute
​

Hi Penny
Hope you are well?
I had a great few days, if little sleep. Was Manic for the duration, which I did actually love. Even woke up this morning feeling great. I have to do a mood diary at some stage, does S know how to do one?
As usual in my manic states, I have been doing a lot of thinking and speaking with different people. I was so surprised that my friend R, had been going through the same stuff, as us, for about the same length of time. Here's the funny bit. She is trained in psychology and was working for Hampshire County Council, employed in SAFEGUARDING. The things she repeated, we more or less what we had experienced.
I explained what was happening with us. She said to me, that my feelings about who and what she is, are completely true. I said it was doubtful we could prove anything, other than a break of safeguarding. She stressed the importance of making sure she is stopped, otherwise others will get hurt.
R also went out with a Sociopath. With all her training, she also suffered what she did. She resigned in the end, two weeks ago because she couldn't take any more!
As I sit here, listening to other people who are suffering because of Veronica, I know IT HAS TO STOP!
JG came in from work, more upset than I had seen him. The contradictions and lies, isolation and bullying. It is an absolute nonsense. The stuff JG is saying, the same treatment myself, Darrell and H was given. It is contradictory to everything I have ever been taught.
I am in a very awkward position. I can see all of this, yet no one is doing anything. It is beyond belief that Oxfam, now paired with Mind are allowing this to go on.
This is a head and heart thing.
I want to expose her for everything she has done. I have thought about writing to The Charities Commission. The board of Trusties, is also an option. This just has to stop. I am beyond words with all this.
I have to do something!
Luke x


Crumbs that's a lot to digest in one message! X Right first things first; mood diary, did they give you one from the hospital? 2. K's little girl is a beauty! X 3. Glad you have enjoyed your mania x

Bloody phone! I hadn't finished writing yet! ? 4. JG, mmmm tricky one! Got a jumbled messaged from Darrell, as to sort of what's happened? Is JG in the union? If not kick his arse and get him to join! V is just running scared at the moment! Shit really is gonna hit the fan for her, and I think she's finally realised it. Re: R, I understand fully where she's at and where's she coming from. Just cause you are trained in it, doesn't mean it won't happen to you. It's a shame! (Hope she's out of it now though!) x

Nothing from Hospital. I was up with Darrell reading stuff last night. It does children me. Which is why it should be stopped x
Chill me
Not children


Before writing to charities com' wait for the out come of all the grievances. Make sure they have been given the opportunity to rectify her mistakes! That way any/every loophole is closed. It's more effective that way. X
Definitely! You all need time out from this! It's limbo and constantly raking over it will not help. X
Mood diary, needs to be written each night. Re: how you have felt through the day, what you have done how that made you feel etc.. X
You've still got St's number? If you get stuck , text or ring him x

The loopholes should have been closed long ago. She is still causing havoc. Sadly with JG living with us. She is now out for him. This is a nonsense. I may even expose her in the meeting. Don't care what happens. There should be a lot of people with shame all over them..x

I fully understand how you are feeling! I really do; injustice is shocking! But..... please try and wait for their conclusion if you can. Why? It will far more effective if and when you need to fully expose them! Xx

Ok..I'm listening. There are quite a few Managers who will put signatures to a letter if I have too. U will wait tho. JG just needs to beat her at her own game. .x

JG can whip her sorry scrawny arse! That's the thing; and we both know it! xxx
He needs to return that unit to Darrell's shop! He then needs to email property support and cc her in; asking how and where he can purchase the correct unit! x She hates being a cc on an email! xx

Ps... To really piss her off, he needs to click the read reply option! xx
Trust me, it does her head in every time without fail! xx


Ok will tell him...Just going to blog about Baby Imogen...x

She's a little beauty! Love a new baby! have you met her yet? X

She had a lot of complications in Hospital. Will see her tomorrow. K just needs a rest by all accounts! x

Poor girl! Does she have family? Or babies dad about? X

No, bless her. we will do what we can ....x

When you go and visit them tomorrow, make sure you take a little gift for her. More so than baby, as the focus switches from mum to baby, when baby arrives. Trust me it's a mum thing, she will really appreciate a gift for herself. Some nice smelly stuff or nail varnish, some thing really girlie, she's been through hell and back !!! xxx

I have the perfect gift already. Oh god, me buy girly stuff. I'll try. She is a sweet girl Kirsty, she has and still is going through hell....x

She will get through it, you watch her come into her own now. Don't underestimate the power that comes from being a first time mum. That little girl will want/need for anything xxx

Figures, facts, planning and assessing.
She has called a meeting next week with those points to cover.
Any pointers he should follow?
Thanks X
​

Check his module count, so it reflects his stock and sales. Plan a recruitment drive; ie; notice in paper, window job centre etc.. Nominate a gift aid champion, to sign up new donors and increase sales. Ensure a good culling rate on clothing. Plan a reduced end of season sale, new sale items available on office supplies. Even if he just has "notes" to show her his action plan, all of what I've mentioned, it will piss her off massively as that's what she will be telling him to do. If he beats to to the post, well he will be fine! x

Thanks Penny..x

​
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When I look back at these conversations now and the words spoken by Oxfam's 'Secret Director', I can see just how unprofessional and odd the whole thing is!

This woman, who was supposed to be there helping us, get through a traumatic time, was just encouraging us to dig the knife in, further and further, causing more and more pain.

The professional advice we have been given since this time, after independent  people read this transcript and others I have, is that Penny along with Veronica was also a controlling bully, probably both Sociopaths.  Both of these dreadful characters were using us and other for their own ends.

One has to remember Oxfam carried out a campaign against Sociopathy in 2013, alerting you and I to the facts surrounding the illness, yet they failed to act, when it was on their own doorstep.  The shocking fact is, just how many people suffered and continue to suffer, because of these heinous individuals, yet Oxfam and their sidekick Union do nothing about it, except further their own nests, look after their own interests and continue to protect their shattered reputations!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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  • Blog
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