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Under the Surface: Biopsy - The Anxious Wait!

27/6/2025

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Mask on, Mood off: Reflections in Isolation!

25/6/2025

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Well I guess it was only a matter of time before I got the bloody thing again and on Sunday it came hurtling towards me, at break neck speed, hitting me square in the face with a bang.

A friend had come over for Sunday lunch — I was cooking a cottage pie, something I haven't had in years; wonderful comfort food during these long winters months in Australia. I had been feeling under the weather all day. My voice was a little horse and I had a tickly throat. My sinuses appeared to be blocked also, and I was starting to get a cough.

Dinner tasted great, just like Mother used to make. Savoury mince, carrots and peas, with a garlic mash topping and a layer of strong grated cheddar on top. However, this 'old school' dinner, hadn't done much for my sense of wellbeing, and by the time I had finished, I was feeling decidedly worse. Sitting down in the family room, I decided to take a COVID test. Luckily we had some in the cupboard, still in date. I thought it best just to make sure everything was OK.

Within seconds, the second line popped up on the bio-sensor — I was COVID positive! Now look, I know, COVID isn't what it used to be, top of the evening news, or even a brief mention in The Daily Mail, but to some — like me — it is particularly worrisome. At the moment, here in Western Australia, COVID and Flu are on the increase and despite being fully vaccinated and boosted, I am well aware, I suffer more than most.

Laying on my bed, at my Aunts house in Portsmouth, Boris Johnson, The British Prime Minister, gave his address to the nation. We were all told to stay at home, we weren't allowed to go outside, and we had to avoid contact with the most vulnerable people in society. I gently put my mug of Bovril down on my side table and checked my phone. Already, the PM's speech had reached Darrell in Australia, who was completely locked down on the other side of the World. Both of us were trapped in our respective countries, unable to leave, travel and be with one another. After 23 years together, we were finally separated, for reasons beyond our control. At that unhinged moment, in March 2020, I knew things were serious; this was the day the World changed and life went slowly down hill from then — Just look where we are today!

As a key worker, I wasn't afforded the luxury of staying at home. As a supermarket employee, I was part of the thousands of supermarket workers, up and down the country, charged with keeping the food chain going. Without us, people wouldn't be able to eat. We were given a letter to afford us the privilege of walking or driving to work, just in case we were stopped by the police. With the streets of Fratton empty, life, for me at least, carried on relatively normally and for that I was truly grateful.

I contracted COVID-19 for the first time, shortly after lockdown, losing my taste and smell. Because it wasn't on the list of approved Government symptoms, I continued working, doing my bit for the country. As I know now, Anosmia is a symptom of COVID. This was the only symptom I had, and it took several months for my senses to return. I tried everything to get my sense of taste back — chocolate muffins with mustard, chilli and peanut butter — all to no avail! By the time it returned, I was self-isolating with a second bout of the dreaded disease, this time much worse than before.

Working in retail had become hazardous. Having to self-isolate, with symptoms, meant the whole household had to do the same — it truly was a debilitating time. The Government duly paid my wages, at a time when I was forced to remain at home. Darrell kept in close contact, my breathing became laboured, my head was banging and fatigue was the order of the day. These were strange times, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. As my period of self-isolation came to an end, I looked forward to returning to work.

Walking to work once again, I was struck by the Easter posters and advertising in shop windows, still closed in May, nearly a month after Easter had ended and almost two months after lockdown was announced. The streets were still empty, with hardly a soul in sight. Tesco was my saving grace. My colleagues were my family, friends, confidants, and support. This was a period — although dark — that I look back on with fondness. I cemented some truly amazing friendships and met even more amazing people. New colleagues arrived from all over, from different walks of life, all working together to keep the supermarkets open.

As colleagues became ill, other, new colleagues took over, different faces appeared every day. We celebrated national events and milestones together. Shared Birthdays and Christmas as a family and navigated the strange 'new normal,' as Britain grappled with the increasing number of COVID cases, reported daily on the news. The outlook looked bleak, but, we all had each other and became the support each of us needed, in the absence of friends and family.

From lockdowns to furlough, 'Eat Out to Help Out,' local lockdowns, mandatory mask wearing and the resulting cold sores and the bucket loads of sanitiser, cracked bleeding hands and blisters, we got through it all, mostly intact. Of course, each of us knew someone who had lost someone, but in the main, we all survived to tell the tale. These were anxiety inducing times, but they also made us stronger and more able to cope with whatever was thrown our way.

Today there are no nightly statistics, no records of deaths and no news nightly briefings from the Government. In 2025, COVID still exists, as I can testify today, but simply, it is no longer part of the media agenda. As vaccinations and immunity have slowly watered down a virus, that was so dangerous before — and to some, still is today — we have all learnt to look past the worst and remain positive for the future.

Here I am, thousands of miles from home and a lifetime away from the Coronavirus of the early 20s, but I am still suffering from the dreaded virus, just not in the same way. For most, the Pandemic was a lonely time; for me, it was nothing but. Today in Australia I am more lonely now than I ever was during the coronavirus and that is why I am in a reflective mood this week.

To admit you enjoyed the Pandemic years, is the wrong thing to say, but I do long for a time, where all of us were as one, as we were then, and part of something greater. Suffering with COVID today, just makes me remember how different things could have been. I realise just what is important in life — it's friends and family, the memories we share and the times we had together — I miss that, I miss it more than I can say, I miss it with all my heart!

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Is Gay Pride Still Relevant in 2025!

21/6/2025

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In this week's blog, I want to talk about Gay Pride, an event that I first took part in, in 1993. Recently, I have had a few altercations with gay friends online, who have shocked me with their views on what I consider, an important part of modern gay life and culture. Gay Pride, is in part a celebration of who we are as a community, but it is more than that. It is about showing support, companionship, and esprit de corps with other LGBTQI+ people, as they navigate the challenges of gay life.

Despite the freedoms we have won over the years, all of us still suffer from discrimination and hardships others do not. Back in 1993, many of the people I marched alongside had been disowned by family and friends; they were very much on their own. Marching together, as a group, meant safety, security and finally a sense of belonging.

In 2025, equality is being eroded across the World, as right wing nationalism, populism, and authoritarian regimes roll back the rights we all fought so hard for. I am astounded by my own gay kinsfolk and their rejection of a movement, that has always been embracing of ALL minority groups.

In recent times, our transgender brothers and sisters have become a particular target of hate, not only from people outside the gay community, but also the LGB community itself. I understand there is animosity between factions in the LGBTQI+ collective, of which I am a part, but I do not fully understand the reasons why. On this basis, I do not want to discuss it on here, but invite readers to educate me on their own personal views and experiences, on this rather awkward subject.

In my humble opinion, as a group, we should be standing together, as we always have done. Unified, we are stronger. If we are attacking our own brothers and sisters because of our own prejudices, we have lost the moral high ground; we are becoming as discriminatory as those who attack and continue to attack us — we are no better. Isn't it strange how gay people, who have suffered so much over the years, can abuse those, who we regarded as friends and family not so long ago. What are we thinking by rejecting our peers and those who have always traditionally stood shoulder to shoulder, especially during our fight for equal rights?

I understand this is a contentious subject and I do not have all the answers, but when you look around this unstable World that we inhabit, surely we can do better than this. To see the LGBTQI+ alliance tearing itself apart from within, is deeply depressing. This isn't about us as a group of individuals, this is more about the geopolitical upheaval we are currently living through.

It is easy to jump on a far right bandwagon and blame one minority group or another for the trouble currently swirling across the globe. The same thing happened just before the Second World War; we have clearly learnt nothing since then. When the planet is in turmoil, it's the people who can least defend themselves, that suffer the most, and the wider LGBTIQ+ community are now doing it to themselves.

I am a supporter of gay pride, because I grew up in a different age, where the support of friends was important. As a twenty-something year old, I lived in a gay household, mixed with gay people, partied with like-minded individuals and felt secure with those, who, like me, just wanted to be who they were. Gay Pride was about looking after all members of our community and ensuring no one was left out. Today that has changed; as our community fractures and the World falls apart, it appears on the surface, at least, that we are destined to implode as well.

Gay Pride matters today, more than ever, because the rights we have won are being removed piece by piece. As western nations turn their backs on progressive politics, I am afraid of the future, as all of us should be. The World has become a dangerous place and our very existence has become precarious. Don't let the haters divide us, because without each other, we have nothing, nothing at all!

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Surviving The West Australian Winter!

15/6/2025

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Today I am sat blogging with a hot water bottle under my hoodie. Layers, lots of layers, I am told — as winter begins to bite in Western Australia! Well, coming from The United Kingdom, one would expect me to cope better than most in the colder weather. No, nothing could be further from the truth! I cannot stand the cold, and down under it feels colder than back home in Blighty. Of course that isn't strictly true, but it bloody well feels that way right now!

During the summer, Perth, in Western Australia, swelters in 40-degree heat. The sun is bright and intense, and there is very little humidity. On some days, the hot desert winds are blowing across our inland home, and it's safer to stay inside. These are extreme temperatures, that I have become used to over the three years I have lived here.

Having said that, I still can't get used to the cold winter weather. Perth, as well as being the most isolated capital city in the World, it is also one of the windiest! This creates a harsh environment at this time of year, one which I would rather not be living in. If I could move northwards, to Darwin or even Asia during the winter, life would be pretty damn perfect, but I can't, and we do what we can to survive.

I have acclimatised to the hot Australian weather, so when winter arrives, it really does hit you. This morning, the temperature outside was about ten degrees, and it felt significantly colder. Of course, we don't have the minus temperatures you have in the UK and Europe, but ten degrees feels positively Baltic to an Aussie.

Perth is an outdoor city. There are fantastic beaches, and nature walks right on our doorstep, but during the winter months, the place closes down. The city itself is even more quiet than usual, with barely a soul walking the streets after 5pm. The markets are closed, the beaches are empty, and it's a soulless place to be, as everyone counts the day until we meet summer once again.

Between June and October, I hibernate. You will find me curled up in bed, electric blanket on, reading a good book, blogging or watching YouTube. I rarely go out, finding the dark nights less than inviting. We are lucky enough to have a nice home, two very spoilt cats and enough interests to keep us both busy. Having said all that, homes are just not built to cater for the colder months. We have no heating, just an electric fire and no double-glazed windows to keep what little heat there is, in the house. It is very much like going back to my childhood and my first remembrance of a harsh winter in Britain, in the town where I grew up.

In 1981, at ten years old, I moved with my parents, from their pleasant warm flat, to an older three-bedroom house, that needed an enormous amount of work doing to it. The only form of heating we had, was an old coal fire in the lounge and that was it. Going to bed was a nightmare — it was freezing. That harsh winter of 1981 saw snow on the south coast of England, which is indeed a rare thing. There was ice on the inside of the rusting, old metal windows of the house, and the wind howled down the chimneys inside. The house was so cold, we often wore our outdoor clothes inside — and I hated every minute of it.

As one would expect, Mum and down did loads of work on the old place and within a few years it was warm and cosy. Like today, the memories of that time are still very much at the forefront of my mind, especially when it has been as cold and wet as it has been recently. In many ways it is quite nostalgic remembering my childhood and thinking about a time, that although difficult, was also carefree and happy!

I've just finished reading 'Addicted to Anxiety' by Owen O'Kane, a fantastic read, if you suffer with anxiety like me. It has certainly kept my attention during this particularly cold week. Next week I am going to read 'The Passengers on the Hankyu Line' by Hiro Arikawa. This is the second publication I would have read by this author, whose book 'The Travelling Cat Chronicles' kept me gripped, the week before last. In truth, I am reading more now than ever, a book a week. I am thoroughly enjoying that hour each evening before bed, I put aside just for me to read and wind down. This is the way I cope with the winter, and it is wonderful to be reading again, when for so long I didn't.

As well as reading, I am still writing equally, as I always will. This helps me to stay grounded and keep my mind active, recalling events important to me. Also, I am deep diving into YouTube, currently following 'On Tour with Dridgers.' A travel couple from my hometown of Portsmouth are enjoying their best life, travelling the World, especially Asia. Their YouTube channel is honest and down to earth, which I love. These two are keeping me engaged and looking forward to my own travels later this year. YouTube is a great resource for someone like me, always planning mine and Darrell's next trip abroad. As a person who doesn't watch TV, it is the best 'on demand' service there is. I do pay for the premium package, but for the quality of content, it is well worth every cent.

So, there you have it — the winter is here, and I am happy locked away doing the things I love most. I would dearly love to be out and about, walking and jogging, but that just isn't possible. So, until summer returns once again, this is where you will find me. Sat at home blogging, reading a good book or planning my next trip away. Wherever you are in the World, enjoy life and keep on battling. Life can be cold, demanding and a bit 'meh' sometimes, but it is also fun looking forward to something better to come and come it surely will!

Pipa and Akira enjoying the electric blanket!

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30th Anniversary Blogs - Bullied for Safeguarding Volunteers!

7/6/2025

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Today's blog is about an important series of events that became the catalyst for my blog, 'Roaming Brit.' Ten years ago, in 2015, along with my husband Darrell, I was a victim of sustained bullying, from people who worked for one of the oldest charities in the World. This period was the most distressing and abusive time in our relationship together. Even today, I still suffer from the effects of a phase, that will forever remain a part of my psyche. I will always carry the burden of torment around with me. It was quite simply an interval, a glitch, that was responsible for a change in our circumstances, that we are still living through today, despite the memories finally fading into the background.

Bullying is something you think only occurs in childhood, but when it happens in your mid-forties, you can't believe what is actually transpiring before your very eyes. Both Darrell and I, were working alongside one another as Managers, for a large NGO on the south coast of England. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our positions, especially working with the volunteers who worked for us. I was always taught, from an early age, to look after and protect the most vulnerable people in society. As a Manager for a charity, it was part of my remit and something I was very aware of, every day I went to work.

You can imagine my horror, when two of Darrell's paid employees, began targeting and abusing a particularly defenseless member of his volunteer team. He naturally asked me for advice. We were both in the same positions at work and as a Manager it is something we had to deal with on rare occasions. I suggested he report it as a safeguarding issue and the HR department would do the rest. I had no reason to expect anything different. Furthermore, I felt sure the organisation would do all it could to protect, the individual concerned — how wrong I was!

Not only did the charity do nothing to support Darrell or the victim, but those responsible started bullying Darrell as a result. From attacks on personal property, to homophobic abuse and attacks at work, the abuse was relentless. Darrell became ill, withdrawn, and his mental health became a source of concern. As someone who had worked for the charity longer than him, I decided to do what I could to help.

Despite doing my best to intervene, I was also dealing with a safeguarding issue at my own place of work, which was also being disregarded by my boss. Later, a former colleague also began to attack me personally, and it appeared on the surface, at least, that both of us were being singled out for protecting others.

With no support from our mutual boss, within a short space of time, we both became ill. We were advised to stay away from work, for our own health and wellbeing. Our mental health was in tatters, as we sought answers as to why nothing was being done to protect us and others. I contacted helplines and organisations who could help. I spoke with my union, ASDAW and anti bullying charities, including 'Solent Mind' based in Southampton. All of them said the same thing, we were being targeted for safeguarding others and as they dug deeper, under the surface, our sexuality was also a factor as well. I can't describe the feeling you get, when you realise you are being mistreated, for just doing the right thing. It hits you head long, like a brick in the face.

For a year we suffered, while still trying to find answers as to why we were being ignored. Despite returning to work for a brief period, in the end, just before our wedding in 2015, we both decided to pack up, sell up and leave the UK for good. Every professional organisation we talked to, said this was the right thing to do. The sociopathic nature of what we endured, would never stop until we made the decision to walk away, from the sinister nature of mistreatment we were dealing with. It took a while, but finally, after talking to family, friends and professionals, we left for a new life in Spain.

My last day at the charity was tinged with sadness, leaving the volunteers behind. We had built up a great rapport over the years, and they were a big part of my life. The Head of HR came in, to try to draw a line under this sorry chapter, and we both spoke candidly about just what had happened. She agreed the way I was treated was a disgrace, but said there wasn't much the charity could do, since its reputation was at stake. Despite knowing just how malevolent and malicious those involved had been towards us and many others, (We weren't the first) there was very little she could do. The primary person responsible was a known bully and abuser, and she had done this many times before.

Our new life in Spain was a breath of fresh air. We had a new, strong and altruistic network of friends and colleagues and an even bigger group of Expats, who helped us begin the transition from turmoil to tranquillity. We were both as happy as we could be and loving every day again on the beautiful Costa Blanca. Smiles returned to both our faces as we finally escaped the pain we left behind.

Despite writing about my experiences as often as I could, answering emails and messages from readers who were also suffering from bullying, we both enjoyed a happy existence in Spain. I received many cries for help over the two years I was living in Gran Alacant, even from those who actually worked at the charity I once held in such high regard. These were the hardest messages to reply to, and I just gave them the advice that was given to me — Never try to beat a sociopath, you will always fail!

Personal tragedy ended our time in Spain all too quickly. While sat surrounded by packing boxes in the lounge of our villa in Puerto Marino, I received an unexpected call. The Charity Commission was investigating the charity I had worked for and wanted to hear my side of the story. I was finally given an opportunity to give mine and Darrell's side of the events that brought us to Spain; it was a vindication of everything we had gone through — finally someone was listening to us.

I never found out the results of the enquiry. However, I finally realised that many others in the UK and further afield, had also suffered at the hands of people who had no place working with vulnerable people. I was made aware that changes would take place. Although nothing could be done to save mine and Darrell's careers, we were helping the commission compile evidence, against people who were distinctly corrupt and disturbing in nature, and for that they were truly grateful.

Since then, I haven't thought about that terrible time in 2015 too much. I do have days when the pain resurfaces, and I do suffer with severe anxiety every day, but my life is so much better now than it ever has been. In a way, the success I enjoy ten years later, is all down to the bullies who gave us such a hard time. So I suppose I should finally take the opportunity to thank them, for affording us the life we enjoy in Australia. So thank you — I hope you are also enjoying the fruits of your labour as well.

During the 30 years we have been together, neither of us have experienced blatant bullying and abuse. As I look back over our years together, it is painful to relive such painful experiences, but it was a time that made us stronger as a couple and more aware of the ugly nature of people. Not everyone in your life is good for you, and it really is up to you to kick them into the long grass and carry on living your best life. They were terribly soul-destroying months in 2015, but without them, we wouldn't be where we are today, and for that, fate gave us a second chance and a reason to exist again.

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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

Under the Surface: Biopsy - The Anxious Wait!

Mask on, Mood off: Reflections in Isolation!

Is Gay Pride Still Relevant in 2025!

Surviving The West Australian Winter!

30th Anniversary Blogs - Bullied for Safeguarding Volunteers!

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