A Tale of Four Countries!

​Today, as part of a series of blogs, celebrating mine and Darrell 30 years together, I am writing about the attachment we both have, to various adopted homes across the World. Darrell and I have done a lot of travelling since we met in 1995 and have lived in a good few places, both in the UK and further afield. You won't be surprised to hear, we have built many emotional attachments to various countries, during our 30-year relationship. We have lived in the UK, Spain and Australia and even brought a house in France. We were both born to travel, and that will never change, no matter where we are in the World.

Currently based in Australia, I think it's safe to say we both yearn for Europe. When we bought our house in France, back in the early 2000s, we both had a dream to live on the continent. Buying a small stone cottage, in the village of Le Lande St Simeon, in Swiss Normandy, meant we finally had a foothold in Europe. Of course back then, we had no idea where we really wanted to be, so bought our house, site unseen, in the hope it would become our forever home. At the time, thousands of Brits were buying up property, especially in France, and we didn't want to miss the bus, so to speak. A small house in France, was a big step on our journey together and the beginning of a love affair, that is still very much alive today.

2000 - 2004 was a productive time for both of us, running our own business in Salisbury. Our time was valuable, and although we travelled to France once a month, our commitments prevented us from taking our French dream any further. Instead, we bought a holiday home up north in the UK and another house to rent out, not too far from our new home in Lancashire. Eventually, we made the difficult decision to sell the French house and concentrate on setting up our life together in the UK. Despite this, our European dream was still there and both of us longed for a new life away from Britain.

Nearly fifteen years after we bought our house in France, we finally realised our dream once again. After our marriage in 2015, we packed our bags and left the UK, heading to Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca and a new adventure in Alicante. This was a place we could finally call home, and we both fell in love with this little urbanization, just fifteen minutes from Alicante Airport. We had finally found somewhere we both loved and began planning for a future in Spain. Of course, it had its ups and downs, but this was what we both wanted and were determined to make this new journey work for the both of us!

Unforeseen circumstances changed our whole outlook on Spain, just a few months after we arrived. Although we loved everything about our life in Gran Alacant, it just wasn't to be. When I look back now, I am sad we didn't fight harder to stay. At the point we both finally felt settled, both our respective parents fell ill, Brexit became law, and worst of all, the Pandemic hit the World. We probably could have fought harder, but it wasn't a battle either of us were prepared to undertake. After a little over two years, we left — Darrell to Australia and me back to The UK.

My time back in Portsmouth with family was special. I made so many good friends in the four years I lived there, and that's all that mattered. It didn't end well family wise, but the lifelong relationships with people I worked with, has become a great source of comfort living in Australia. We really did make some fabulous memories to take with us, and I will always look back at my time working at Tesco, with immense fondness. Of all the companies I have worked for, over the years in the UK, Tesco has been the best, without exception. At my time of life, it is important to have memories and a sense of satisfaction. Money is no longer critical and my time living back home in Pompey, showed me how valuable friends are!

When Darrell returned from Australia, after his Mother's condition became manageable, we both planned to settle down in The UK once again. We both had jobs we loved, working with people we adored, and at the time, were extremely content with the family bonds we had. I say had, because that changed in the blink of an eye, our fate literally changed overnight; a row between us and my Cousins got out of control and Darrell and I made the decision, to leave the UK for good. 

My family, no matter how much I love them, have always been rather fractured; that is true on my paternal and maternal side. It was no surprise when boiling tensions came to a head one evening at my Aunts house. I felt rejected and cast aside, but that is the nature of my family. One minute your face fits, the next it doesn't. I was never truly allowed to have an opinion living at my Aunts, and Darrell and I never really had the privacy we needed. So in many respects what transpired was good and forced us to finally make the decision to move to Australia, no matter how reluctant I had been, to move here over the years.

​Mine and Darrell's life has always been a rollercoaster ride. We have had great productive periods, like when we lived and ran a business and Salisbury, but in the main it has never been stable. When you marry someone from a different continent, life will never be the easy ride your peers enjoy, although they may of course disagree.

Having lived in Australia for three years now, we are finally doing the best we ever have and achieving everything we have ever wanted. We bought a new house and car, we both have fantastic jobs we love, and we can afford to travel whenever we want. In Western Australia, we don't want for anything. If we had moved here years ago, I think both our lives would be very different today, but we didn't, and we struggled as a result.

​Despite the success we now enjoy, neither of us are fully content with our life down under. People here are not as welcoming as those in Spain or The UK, and although we have a very close network of friends, who we value immensely, we don't have the integrated structure we had living in Europe. That does make for a very lonely existence if I am perfectly honest, and both of us really do look back at our previous life with envy.

We are well aware of where we are better off, however. For the next ten years at least, we will be living here, working hard to pay the bills, accumulating enough money for the next stage of our adventures. In retirement, we will probably not be living in Australia. It seems likely we will rent out our house here in WA and live a more frugal existence in Asia. Initially Spain would have been top of our list once again, but with uncertainty on the continent and geopolitics playing its part, I think we would prefer a more balanced, anchored life, in Thailand or Vietnam.

We will have many more options available, once the house is paid off, and until then we will just continue to strive for a better retirement. Neither of us knows what will happen down the road, but we can at least plan for every eventuality. We will never be multi-millionaires or indeed well off, but we will always be able to survive in circumstances, where others would simply fail. This journey has taught us much about the meaning of life and at 54 years old, it isn't over yet. Despite everything, despite the way we feel and despite the challenges ahead, both of us are looking forward to a productive future and the beginning of the final chapter in our partnership together!